Strife
by Maximillian Delirium
Summary: With the summer drawing to a close, it seems that all of Camp Half-Blood's drama is coming to a head: Nico is trying to work out his complicated feelings for Connor, Connor is trying to work out his complicated feelings for Nico, and the entire camp is getting torn apart as campers begin to turn against one another. Otherwise everything is alright. Until the Stolls start fighting.
1. Prologue

**here it is! the third installment! the final? we'll see. thanks in advance to everyone who's been reading these fics. this one has a lot going on and a lot of words. posting it now because i'm impatient and things have finally come together for this fic.  
**

* * *

Midnight. The only noises in Cabin 11 were the sounds of breathing and people rolling over. Almost everyone was asleep. One boy was awake.

Nico di Angelo, newly discovered demigod, lay in a borrowed sleeping bag. He clutched a Mythomagic figure in his hand: Morpheus, god of sleep and dreaming. Currently, his prayers were going unanswered. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't lie still. The day's earlier activities should've tired him out. They had a snowball fight. A bigger kid from the Ares cabin had stuffed snow down his shirt.

Normally when he couldn't sleep, he went to Bianca, but she was gone. Nico didn't know when she would be coming back. He held the Morpheus figurine tighter. The sooner the quest was over, the better. Percy would be back, too. He hoped that they wouldn't be too long.

Now that Bianca was a Hunter of Artemis, maybe she wouldn't have time to coax her little brother back to sleep anymore. They said that the Hunters traveled a lot. Which meant she would leave again. Nico would be lying if he didn't admit that he was a little mad at her. When she returned, he would try to convince her to stay.

For the moment, he needed to figure out how to get to sleep. It was annoying, being the only one awake. He didn't have anything to do. Nico sat up. The Hermes cabin was crowded. Not only were all the bunks full, but the floor was covered in prone bodies. It would be hard to sneak out. He didn't want to go alone anyway.

Nico put the Morpheus figure aside and climbed out of the sleeping bag. He carefully stepped over two campers on his way to the Stolls' bunks. Connor was passed out on the bottom bed, one arm dangling. Nico tapped his shoulder.

Connor came to instantly. It startled Nico. He hadn't expected him to be a light sleeper. Connor stared at Nico for what felt like a full minute before whispering, "Can't sleep?"

Nico nodded.

"Good. Me neither." Connor sat up. Even at thirteen, he was tall and long-limbed. He swung his legs out of bed. "Let's go down to the beach."

"Won't we get in trouble?"

"I do it all the time. It's no big deal. If someone catches us, we'll just split up and meet back here. Capiche?"

" _Sì_ ," Nico said, on reflex.

They crept past the rest of the Cabin 11 campers. It was cold outside, but not horribly so. The weather, Nico had learned, was always perfect at Camp Half Blood. Connor headed off in the direction of Long Island sound, his sneakers crunching in the hardened snow. It would either be refreshed or melted by tomorrow. Everyone was hoping for more.

At night, the water looked black. Nico hoped Connor wasn't going to talk him into swimming. Connor and Travis had tried to talk him into a lot of things. He'd managed to get out of most of them. Luckily, Connor was more interested in stirring the mixture of snow and sand with his foot, forming swirls and tiny mounds.

"What's keeping you up?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"Nightmares? Anxiety? You don't have to hide anything from me, kid."

"You're a kid, too," Nico pointed out.

Connor shook his head, a smug grin on his face. "I'm a _teenager_. You're still a shrimp. I mean that in the best possible way. What's the matter?"

Nico sighed. He crouched and started gathering sand into a heap. It was cold. "When is Bianca going to come back?"

"Wish I could tell you, but I have no clue. You just gotta wait."

"But she might _never_ come back." Nico squeezed the sand in his fists. He let it hiss through his fingers, then picked up more and did it again. "She joined those stupid Hunters of Artemis. What if she gets back from the quest and leaves me here?"

"Do you want me to lie to you or do you want me to give it to you straight?"

Nico looked up at Connor. He could never tell when the Stolls were being serious. Connor's eyes said one thing, but the quirk of his mouth said another. Nico was learning that it was good to be suspicious. Anyone could be trying to take advantage of his weaknesses.

"Tell me the truth," he said slowly.

"Sometimes people change. They do things that surprise you. Sometimes people leave." Connor shrugged. "If your sister goes with the Hunters, she goes with the Hunters. It doesn't mean she loves you any less. She probably wants you to be happy."

"I…" Nico was going to say that he couldn't be happy with her abandoning him when he realized that he _was_ happy. Camp was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. The past couple of days in particular had been wonderful. He was scared that one day he'd wake up and find out the whole thing was a dream.

"Are you happy here, Nico?" Connor asked. He rested his hand on Nico's head. It was a comforting weight.

Nico looked at the sand. Then he met Connor's eyes. "Yes."

"Good." Connor ruffled Nico's hair. "Bianca is going to be really jealous when she sees us again. She can't keep you all to herself anymore. One big happy family."

"Yeah," Nico agreed.

Connor yawned. "Alright, bedtime. I'm beat." He put an arm around Nico's shoulders and guided him back toward the cabins. "If you want, I can tell you stories until you fall asleep."

"I'm not a baby!" _He was lying about not being able to sleep._

"Never said you were. Did you hear the one about Hercules and the moon men?"

"That didn't happen."

"Of course not, it's a story. So there were these moon men…"

Nico ended up drifting off to the sound of Connor's whispered ramblings. He never got to the end of the story. And he never saw his sister alive again.

* * *

 **note: "hercules against the moon men" is a real actual italian film you can watch, but i don't recommend doing so without the mst3k crew.**


	2. Pining

Nico didn't usually remember his dreams. The Morpheus kids said that most dreams were pretty mundane, which was why they tended not to stick in people's brains. So it made sense that Nico would vividly recall this one.

Somehow he always ended up in the middle of things when he dreamed. _In medias res_. In this case, he was standing on the third floor of the Eiffel Tower. Connor was beside him, leaning against the barrier that kept them from falling through space. It felt cliché, to be re-visiting this place in a dream.

"I want to do it right this time," Connor was saying. "Kissing you."

"There are people watching."

"Are there?"

Nico looked over his shoulder. They were alone. He turned back to Connor, who was suddenly much closer than before. Nico let Connor tilt his head back.

"Admit it," he said. "You want me to."

Nico swallowed. The heat of Connor's hands felt real. He was unsteady. If Connor kissed him, he might vaporize or melt through the floor. His body had a mind of its own, inching closer to Connor and his ready mouth.

However, before their lips touched, Nico woke up. He had to lie there for a few minutes to let the shame evaporate. Dreams were a risky area for demigods. There was a new cabin specifically for dreaming demigods. To think that they might have been able to see that frightened Nico more than any monster ever had.

This crush should've gone away by now. It had been a while since he and Connor had returned from their mission to find Aphrodite. Nico had been banking on his feelings being the byproduct of their soul-bonding, some extra, twisted layer to the whole mess. But he'd floated the idea by David Park shortly after he realized his crush and was told that no, soul-bonding didn't create love from nothing. Though how much David really knew about his mom's magic was questionable.

Of course, it would be more of a problem if Connor wasn't avoiding him. They hadn't really talked to each other in a while. They saw each other around, but they didn't hang out. Nico was trying to think of this as a positive. If he didn't see Connor, then maybe the crush would die. However, he felt kind of sore about it.

Connor had been the one pushing for the two of them to be friends. Why was he backing out now? The soul-bonding must have freaked him out.

Nico tried to go back to sleep. He was scared of dreaming again, but consciously thinking of Connor was worse. At least with a dream he could argue that it was all random. He closed his eyes and rolled over.

* * *

This was the third discus this week that had gotten caught in a tree. And when a discus gets stuck somewhere, it really gets stuck. Connor was starting to think the Ares kids were doing it on purpose. This one had driven itself right into the trunk.

"Next time," Connor muttered as he tried to work it free, "I'm going to replace these with plastic Frisbees. And their swords with Wiffle bats. And their javelins with pool noodles."

"Hurry it up!" Clarisse barked.

"I'm trying! Why don't you come up and get it?"

Clarisse glared up at him and put her hands on her hips. As far as Connor knew, she didn't know how to climb trees. She was a tank, good for knocking through enemy lines and brute force attacks. Anything that required acrobatics or parkour was beyond her capabilities. Connor had learned that back when he and Travis had short-sheeted her bed a few years ago. He didn't know how long they had had to stay on the roof of the Apollo cabin until she went away.

"Just get the stupid discus, Stoll."

Connor gave it a yank. He was afraid to pull too hard in case the momentum knocked him, cradle and all, from his branch. It was starting to feel looser. _Maybe when I get it out, I'll just chuck it at Clarisse's big head._

A few more campers were gathering underneath the tree. A young Hermes kid starting chanting, "Con-nor, Con-nor, Con-nor!" and some of the others joined in. It really only served to make Clarisse angrier. She picked her spear up from where it lay at her feet.

"If you don't stop dicking around, I'll knock you and the discus out in one go!"

"Waitwaitwait I got it!" Connor tried for a last heroic pull, his foot pressed against the tree trunk. He strained as hard as he could. He thought he heard something pop just before the discus came out of the wood… and he lost his balance.

Connor yelped as he fell, flailing with his free hand for something to hold onto. Twigs whipped his face. It wasn't that high and it wasn't the first tree he'd fallen out of, but he wasn't looking forward to hitting the ground. Then, in a sudden burst of self-preservation, Connor hooked his legs around a branch.

Blood started rushing to his head. Clarisse didn't look any friendlier upside down. She put down her spear and took the discus from his limp hand. A cheer went up from the surrounding crowd.

"Good job, Stoll," Clarisse said. "You look like an even bigger idiot now."

Connor swung gently from his branch. "I think I proved I'm a master of agility."

"Have fun getting down." She turned away.

"Hey! I helped you out! _Quid pro quo_!"

Clarisse ignored him. Connor was getting dizzy. He could also feel his shirt slipping, which wouldn't be a problem if Travis hadn't written "Always sleep with one eye open" on his stomach in permanent marker. (Travis had discovered his secret napping spot; Connor would get him back soon enough).

Ben, another Hermes kid, came forward. He looked uncertainly at Connor. "How are you going to get down?" he asked. It sounded like he was afraid Connor would have to stay in the tree forever.

"If you and someone else could hold me up when I let go of the branch, that'd be great."

"Um… everyone's going back to the training grounds."

Connor held in a groan. "Alright. You're going to have to go get someone. See if Travis or Percy are around."

"Okay!" Ben scurried off.

Connor's arms tingled. He was losing feeling in his legs. He wondered how long he had until they gave out. The way he was hanging, he'd probably land on his neck and die. He'd go down in Camp Half-Blood history as the doofus with the stupidest death.

That being said, swaying in the wind like this was kind of peaceful. Connor closed his eyes. Maybe all the blood going to his head would make his brain grow. Hopefully Ben wouldn't take too long. His t-shirt slipped the rest of the way. At least the sun felt nice on his skin.

"What are you doing?"

 _Oh no. This isn't good._

Connor opened his eyes. Nico di Angelo was standing in front of him (upside down). His confused expression made Connor want to laugh. He'd never looked at Nico from this angle before.

"Oh, you know," Connor said. "Just hanging around."

Nico put his face in his hands. He muttered something to himself that Connor didn't catch. When he lifted his head again, he said, "Do you need help?"

"Yes, actually."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Honestly, it'd be better if there were two people. Who are bigger than you are."

"What," Nico said, slower this time, "do you need me to do?"

Connor gave up. He couldn't spend the whole day waiting on Ben. "Prop me up so I don't land on my head."

Nico put his hands on Connor's back and pushed. It was like someone had just set fire to his brain. It only got worse when Nico slid closer, wrapping his arms around Connor's chest to steady him. Connor hoped Nico couldn't feel his heartbeat getting faster.

"How's that?"

"Perfect. Okay, here we go."

Connor unhooked a leg. Nico stumbled. He wouldn't be able to hold him. It was too late now. Connor was trying to move his other leg when the weight imbalance won. Both he and Nico crashed to the ground. They landed in a heap.

"Oh gods," Nico croaked.

"Sorry." Connor rolled off him.

Nico shook his head. "I'll be fine. Gotta… gotta get my breath back."

Connor propped himself up on his elbows. Now that his blood was leaving his brain, he was a little dizzy. Nico lay on the grass with his eyes closed. The sun coming through the leaves dappled his face. It was killing Connor to look at him like this. It made him want to say something stupid. Something like, "Hey, this is going to sound crazy, but I fantasize about kissing you."

In fact, he was fantasizing right now. He imagined leaning over and lightly touching Nico's lips with his. Then kissing him again, more and more until they were both covered in grass stains.

 _I have to stop_ , Connor thought, throwing a bucket of cold water over his imagination.

Nico sat up and leaned on his knees. "What were you up in the tree for, anyway?"

"Another stuck discus."

"Why do you have marker on your stomach?"

Connor chuckled sheepishly. "That was Travis. He kind of caught me slacking off."

"I didn't know Travis cared about that stuff."

"He does when he ends up with all the work."

Nico snorted. It was not very cute, objectively, but Connor found pretty much everything Nico did to be cute these days. He racked his brain for something else to make Nico laugh. It used to be sinfully easy.

"Thanks for getting me down. You've helped me a lot recently." Connor counted on his fingers. "You got me and Abby to the Underworld, you saved me from that monster, you managed to find me after Eros separated us…"

"It was nothing," Nico said quickly. "Most of that was cleaning up your mistakes. I figured it was the least I could do."

They fell back into awkward silence. Connor was remembering the way he'd kissed Nico under Eros's spell. He wanted to hide his face in the grass. That was definitely not his proudest moment. He still felt like he hadn't said sorry enough, especially considering how he felt now. _Nico would not want to kiss me, even if we were the last two people on Earth._

Connor heard footsteps. He glanced up. Ben had returned with Travis.

"I heard you were stuck in a tree," Travis said, smirking. "Ben was freaking out because he thought that if enough blood rushed to your head you'd become a vegetable."

"I wasn't freaking out!"

"Anyway, looks like you solved the problem without me."

Both Travis and Ben looked at Nico. Nico immediately looked somewhere else. He got to his feet, dusting himself off.

"See you around, I guess," he muttered.

As he walked past, Ben jumped out of the away. Like getting too close would turn him into a zombie. Connor would've said something or tried to make him stay, but a more sensible part of his brain made him hold his tongue. It was best to let him go. The more time they spent together, the more Connor wanted to climb to the top of the lava wall and jump off.

"Seriously though," Travis said, bending down. "You're okay, right? We don't need to call a medic?"

Connor let Travis pull him up. "Nah, I'm good. Nico kept me from breaking my neck."

"Wow," Ben said. "I didn't know you guys were friends."

"Oh, we go way back. Hermes cabin used to take in all the unclaimed kids and Nico was one of them. He used to be a lot nicer before he went through his angsty teenager phase."

Travis laughed. "He's still in it. But he's a lot better now that he has more than zero friends."

Ben seemed stunned. "Doesn't he creep you out?"

"No," both Stolls replied in unison.

"Oh. I guess you guys are used to it." Ben shuddered.

 _It looks like there are still people who are scared of him,_ Connor thought. He hated to admit it but there were one or two times Nico had frightened him. However, Nico had never creeped him out just by existing. Anyone who had known Nico before his turn was generally more relaxed around him. (At least, _now_ they were. After the initial revelation of who Nico was, the reaction was more "pissed off at him and Percy").

Travis nudged his brother in the ribcage. "Connor's his _bestie_."

"That's not true," Connor said. He wasn't lying. Despite what they'd gone through together, Connor knew where he stood. He was never going to be that important to Nico di Angelo, ever.

"Oh come on. Any day now you're going to start wearing matching friendship bracelets."

Connor tried to laugh it off. "No way. It's more like… like a Big Brother program. Once a camp counselor, always a camp counselor."

Travis mouthed, "friendship bracelets." Connor lightly punched his arm.

* * *

Nico used to find it impossible to hang out with Percy and Annabeth once they started dating, but it had become a lot easier since interactions with Connor Stoll made him want to puke and kiss him at the same time. (Not puke _while_ kissing him; that would be terrible). With Percy and Annabeth things were simpler, partially because Percy no longer made Nico sweat just by looking at him.

They were by the water, which was where Percy almost always was. Annabeth was doing her summer reading while Percy rested with his head on her lap. She was highlighting passages with different colored markers and neon flags. Nico was very glad he didn't have to go to school. For some reason, despite the ADHD and dyslexia, Annabeth _enjoyed_ it.

"Good thing you showed up," Percy said. "She won't talk to me."

"I have to do this, Percy. It's not like I can read the whole thing the night before." Annabeth gently moved some of Percy's bangs aside. "Ugh. This is awful."

Percy looked at Nico out of the corner of his eye. "Maybe Nico would like it. It's about funerals, right?"

"Do you like to read books about scuba diving all the time?" Nico countered.

"Touché."

Annabeth made another highlight. "Whose team are you going to join for capture the flag later?"

"Me?" Nico rubbed the back of his neck. "I was going to pass, actually."

"Nico, you gotta start practicing your teamwork. We're all in this together," Percy said. "It's not just a random game. And no one's going to believe you got a stomach ache the third time in a row."

"I know, I know. It's just that I don't… mesh with other people. I don't fight the same way you guys do. Worst comes to worst when you play, someone gets wet. I play, someone needs therapy."

"You'll be fine," Annabeth said. "When was the last time you played anyway? When you were ten?"

"Ugh. And I did absolutely fuck-all. Not to mention Percy lost the game for us, so don't lecture me about 'teamwork.'"

"How was it my fault?" Percy demanded, throwing his hands in the air. "The way I see it, we all worked together to completely suck."

"Anyway, I don't like wearing the armor or the stupid helmets, and if I engage in one-on-one combat I will get my ass kicked."

"You can't know that," Annabeth said. "Even if you don't rely on your powers, there are plenty of ways to win an uneven fight." She pointed the highlighter at him. "You would know that if you joined in more often."

Now that Annabeth was arguing against him, Nico didn't think he'd win. He would try, though, because words could not describe how badly he did not want to participate.

"What else is in it for me besides a team-building exercise?" Nico asked.

"That depends. What do you want?"

"To not play."

Annabeth sighed. "You should be grateful I even want you on my team. The only reason Camp Half-Blood lost against the Hunters was because Seaweed Brain and Thalia were in charge. They're powerful, but they're not strategists. I would give you a position that best utilized your skills."

"She's right," Percy admitted. "Though it's possible she might use you as bait."

Nico gathered a handful of sand and let it slowly hiss through his fingers. He knew that eventually Chiron would catch on to all the times he'd skipped training and left camp, which meant some form of punishment was just around the corner. Worse than that, there'd be a speech.

 _It does no good to isolate yourself, Nico. I know that it's difficult and I know that it seems like no one else can understand, but everyone here has suffered in one way or another. Everyone has felt alone, unwanted, or abnormal. There are plenty of people attempting to reach out to you; all you have to do is reach back._

Nico didn't remember exactly when Chiron had told him this or what came before or after, but he recalled every single word of it. What made things worse was that Chiron was right. He could complain all he wanted that the other campers mistrusted him, but it wasn't as if he gave them the benefit of the doubt either.

Maybe playing a stupid game with them would change that. Nico doubted it, but he remembered something Connor had said back in Paris. _Once you've been on the same capture the flag team with someone enough times, you get to know them._

"Who else is on the blue team?" Nico asked.

"Hermes, Demeter, Aphrodite…"

Percy smirked. "Interesting line-up."

He'd be on a team with Connor again. That didn't mean he'd have to see him, of course. The teams were pretty big, especially considering all the claiming that went on after the battle for Olympus.

"Just don't make me do anything too important," Nico said.

"Does that mean you'll play?" Annabeth asked, sitting up a little straighter.

"Yes. I'll play."

* * *

 **note: remember that time camp half-blood got totally curbstomped by the hunters of artemis? because i do.  
**


	3. Thunder

**hello again! i'm so busy i might die. why am i doing this to myself? drop me a comment if you like what i'm doing~**

* * *

"Nico's actually going to play capture the flag?" Connor's jaw dropped. "I thought he was allergic to bonding activities."

"I managed to talk him into it," Annabeth said. "He just needed an extra push."

"What did you say to him?"

Annabeth gave her armor straps a final tug to make sure they were secure. "I told him that I'd give him a pass from the next match if he joined this one."

"No way," Travis said. "You're going to cover for him? You've been pressuring Nico to join your team since he came back."

"I only agreed to let him off the hook for the game after this one, not every match following."

"Loophole, nice." Travis nodded approvingly. Then he nodded hard enough to make his helmet slip over his eyes. "You excited, Con?"

Connor studied the sword in his hands. (It was technically his, but it mostly gathered dust in one of the armory's lockers.) "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your BFF getting in on the action."

"We're not BFFs! Hang out with a guy one time…"

"It was more than one time. Aphrodite thought you were soulmates." Travis sniggered.

"That was a mistake."

"And he led you out of the Underworld…"

Annabeth's eyebrows lifted. "What?" This was the first she'd heard of it. "When?"

"Trav! Ix-nay on the unapproved est-quay!"

"I can understand pig Latin, Connor," Annabeth said. "You went to the Underworld? For what?"

 _Damn._ There was no way out now. He could try to stall, but eventually Annabeth would hold him down and get the story. He could see the questions forming in her brain as she stared at him. Connor put his sword point down in the dirt and started swiveling it around.

"You see… the thing is… well, it's kind of a funny story…"

"Connor sees dead people," Travis finished.

"Not all the time."

"And can touch them."

Annabeth seemed more confused than ever. "You mean ghosts? When did that happen?"

"We don't have time for this," Connor said quickly. "You're in command. Go lead the troops." He put a hand on Annabeth's back and began pushing her toward the rest of their teammates. In a lower voice, Connor added, "I'll tell you about it later."

"You better," she replied, also whispering.

As Connor and Travis joined the ranks of the blue team, Connor kept an eye out for Nico. He was hard to spot in the forest's shade. Connor found him leaning against a tree trunk with his arms folded. His helmet lay at his feet.

It was strange seeing Nico here. He was opposed to most camp activities that required more than one person. Connor wondered if he'd affected Nico's decision or if it had been solely Annabeth's persuasive power. He realized that he was drifting toward Nico on autopilot. His feet had started moving without his input.

"Isn't this nostalgic?" Connor said, bracing an arm against the same tree trunk Nico was using as a support. "I hope you remember the rules. You were just a nugget the last time you played."

"What's there to remember? Our team finds and gets the flag, brings it here, we win."

"Annabeth said she bullied you into participating. What made you change your mind?"

Nico shrugged. "No reason. I was bored."

 _I doubt it._ "Give it a hundred and ten percent, Nico."

If Nico were a normal person, Connor would've clapped him on the shoulder before moving on. If Connor wasn't stupidly dizzy over Nico, he would've offered more encouragement. But the possibility of his heart coming out of his mouth was too high, so he stayed silent.

Annabeth was explaining everyone's roles. Some Demeter kids—including Katie Gardener—went to place the flag. Others were assigned border patrol. Connor waited to hear his and Travis' names. (They did everything together and Annabeth wouldn't dare split them up.)

"Connor, Travis," she finally said, walking over. "You're with me. Nico, you too."

Nico's head snapped up. "I thought I told you no important jobs."

She ignored him. "We're going to try for stealth. While the strongest fighters are pulled into combat, we'll go around and try to steal the flag out from under them. It's an old tactic but it works. I was thinking we could use Nico's shadow travel to get close."

"So that's the real reason you wanted me for your team," Nico said.

"Don't feel too bad about it," Travis said. "She'd throw _Percy_ under the bus if it meant she'd win capture the flag."

"She did do that," Connor said. "Remember?"

"Oh, yeah…"

"Could you please focus?" Annabeth said. She fished her baseball cap out of her back pocket. "Once we get close to where the flag is being held, I need you two to distract the guards. It doesn't matter who gets it first, but my plan is to relay the flag back and forth between me and Nico. That way they won't be able to keep up. Got it?"

"Fine." Nico put his helmet on. It fit him better than it had last time. He looked pained. "Let's get this over with."

* * *

Nico didn't really have a problem with Annabeth's plan. As far as he knew, it would work. There were enough shadows for him to slip in and out of. He could easily shadow-travel the flag from its hiding place to their side of the creek, but he would rather not be the center of attention.

 _The last time I did this, I was playing against Bianca._ That was another reason why he hadn't wanted to be involved. Earlier, when Connor asked him whether this was nostalgic, Nico had been tempted to say that he only had bad memories of these woods. It wasn't true, but he hated to think about that winter.

He could still picture the moment Zoe Nightshade had taken the flag. She had looked him straight in the eye and, though he didn't realize it at the time, she knew exactly who he was. It had paralyzed him. (And something in him knew something in her. Again, he didn't think about it at the time. Life was so new and confusing then.)

"Out of respect for your sister, I won't bother with you," she'd said. "You are too small still to be any threat."

She must have recognized the touch of Hades on Bianca, too, but she was smart enough not to say anything. It would've only frightened her, just like it did Nico. When she'd said that and taken off toward the creek, Nico had been so shaken that it took Beckendorf grabbing his shoulder for him to start moving. He'd been angry. Angry at her and everything she represented. _Too small still to be any threat._ Well, he'd proved her wrong in the worst way possible.

"Nico, are you there?" Annabeth asked.

Nico started. He had been spacing out. "I'm here."

"We're clear ahead. Let's keep going."

They kept creeping through the underbrush. Connor and Travis were apparently not to be trusted with sneaking. They were moving in difficult to follow patterns through the trees. Nico caught flashes of them in between the trunks as they went. The sounds of battle seemed distant. Annabeth was taking them the long way around.

"Do you know where they're keeping the flag?" Nico asked.

"I have a few guesses. The Ares cabin isn't very original, so they tend to rotate between the same handful of hiding places. I'm hoping our side holds out long enough for us to find it."

Suddenly, Annabeth put an arm out for him to stop. Her hand went to her cap. Just over her shoulder, Nico could see a clearing. A gaggle of red team fighters were patrolling around.

"This isn't it. There are more than two guards."

"Are we getting close?"

"I think. Scout ahead. Jump somewhere past them."

Nico sighed. He sank into a shadow underneath the bush he was hiding behind. It wasn't far to go. There were no red team guards past the group in the clearing. He noticed a few in the distance grappling with the blue team, but where he was standing appeared safe. None of them had spotted him so far. He traveled back.

"We can go around."

"I'll meet you there." Annabeth put the cap on and vanished. The only indication of her presence was the rustling of the underbrush. Nico went back the way he had come.

Once they had gotten past the random pocket of reds, Annabeth struck out towards the deeper part of the forest. Travis and Connor were still following. Nico could hear them crunching along under the clash of swords.

So far the game was insultingly easy. Nico didn't get why the others thought it was so fun. He didn't particularly want to join the fray, either. Granted, Nico's idea of fun was sitting at a table with a stack of cards and a clearly defined set of rules, so perhaps he wasn't built for this kind of thing.

Through the branches, he caught sight of the flag. Annabeth saw it, too. Her breath hitched as it came into view. She already had her cap in her hand. Nico glanced at Connor and Travis. They were passing something to each other—probably smoke bombs they'd stolen from the Hephaestus cabin. Now was where it was supposed to get exciting.

Nico felt the change. A sudden updraft turned the leaves over, revealing their pale underbellies. The sunlight disappeared. The forest fell into shadow. Several of the demigods stopped and looked up. Something rumbled in the distance.

"Thunder," Annabeth murmured. Her grey eyes were wide.

Then another sound came: a soft pattering. Nico felt a raindrop splash on his head. They came faster. The pattering turned into a steady hiss as rain poured down. All around them, demigods dropped what they were doing and ran in the direction of the cabins, the game forgotten.

"This shouldn't be happening!" Annabeth shouted over the storm.

They were all running now. Nico's shoes were getting wet. They broke into the open. Sure enough, black clouds hovered over camp. Wind bent the trees. There was a flash above them.

"Zeus?" Connor guessed. He looked pale. Zeus had never visited camp before and no one wanted him to. If the king of gods arrived, something terrible was probably happening.

Nico shivered. It was summer, but the rain was cold. The Ares kids were going on the defensive, weapons still drawn.

"Where's Mr. D?" someone asked.

Annabeth gasped. She turned suddenly and took off for the Big House. Nico tried to follow her, but Connor grabbed his shoulder.

"Wait," he said. Connor looked around wildly. _He must be searching for Travis._

"The defenses are down," Nico said. "We can't just stand here."

No sooner had he spoken than the rain began to let up. The wind died. Sunlight filtered through the clouds, making everyone's armor and hair glitter. Nico watched as some of the demigods relaxed. Clarisse and her siblings didn't, however. She kept scanning the crowd, as if any of them could be responsible.

"What…?" Nico said. It was gone as soon as it came. The storm was moving away from them. Could it have been Zeus? Why would he be here, though?

Connor slicked his hair back. He looked kind of funny without his bangs, but Nico couldn't work up any amusement. Connor's eyes kept darting around uneasily.

When nothing monstrous appeared, Clarisse lowered her spear. The others did as well. Percy emerged from a clump of concerned kids with his helmet under his arm. He seemed as confused as Nico felt.

"What the hell was _that_?" Clarisse demanded.

Hoof-beats announced Chiron's arrival in centaur form. "There was a lapse in our defenses," he said. "We're having an emergency meeting at the Big House. All counselors please report as soon as possible."

"That's us." Connor undid the straps on his armor. His shirt was soaked. Nico had to look away.

He started removing his own armor, but his fingers were clumsy and unpracticed. The straps were wet and uncooperative. Nico felt weighed down by more than his clothes and armor. Frustrated, he yanked off his helmet.

"Come here," Connor said, though he approached Nico. "I'll help."

"You don't need to—" Nico tried to protest, but Connor was already unbuckling him. The memory blindsided him: Camp Half-Blood in winter, armor that was too big for him, Connor helping him with the pieces.

"I'm good," Nico said, jumping back. "I can take it from here. Thanks."

A shamed expression passed Connor's features, then vanished.

* * *

Connor hated damp socks. They were itchy. He hoped this meeting would be over soon so that he could change his clothes. Judging from his fellow counselors' faces, they were thinking the same thing. Clarisse, who was never in a good mood, looked pretty murderous.

Percy was the only dry one. Lucky son of Poseidon. He could choose whether or not he got wet. His expression was uneasy. He kept drumming his fingers on the table until Annabeth took his hand in hers.

"Mr. D," Chiron began, "can you explain what just happened regarding the defenses?"

"Something tried to get in, I can tell you that much," Mr. D said. He seemed more alert than usual. He wasn't thumbing through a wine magazine this time. "It didn't get very far. The storm was strange. As far as I know, the weather outside is peachy."

"You have no idea what it was?"

"No. It was very strong, though."

"How strong are we talking?" Clarisse asked. "Big monster strong or Titan strong?"

"It can't be a Titan," Percy said. "I thought we finished that."

"We did." Chiron rested his chin on his hand. "However, there are plenty of other forces that would like to see this camp destroyed. We're lucky things didn't escalate any further today. We should be on the alert."

Clarisse popped her knuckles. "Should we be getting ready for another war?"

"Cool your jets, Clarisse," Travis said. "We don't even know what the thing is yet."

 _I hope there's no war,_ Connor thought. Didn't they deserve to rest a while? Couldn't they get through one summer without the fate of the world hanging in the balance? He really wanted to go back to the cabin and change clothes.

"For now, inform your cabins to be prepared," Chiron said. "And we're going to be stricter about keeping tabs on all campers. Make sure no one is sneaking out after hours and try to do headcounts if you can. This may be easier for some of you than others."

Connor swore silently. Ever since Luke, they were paranoid about demigods defecting to the dark side. That meant there were more checks for contraband and more rules about leaving camp. (Connor had already violated most of the new regulations.) He didn't see how this was going to help. Also, it was impossible to prepare if you didn't know what enemy they were up against.

Travis leaned over and whispered, "I guess game nights are on hold, huh?"

"This is stupid. Would someone seriously try to betray us, again?"

"Anything's possible."

Chiron dismissed them. Already the other counselors were either complaining about the new duties or making plans on how to enforce the rules. Connor's top priority was still dry socks. He hopped the rail around the porch, shortly followed by Travis.

"We were close to winning capture the flag, too," Travis mused.

Connor groaned. "I know! It was going to be so sweet!"

"Jeez, why can't things be normal for once?"

"It's never 'normal' here, dude," Connor said with a chuckle.

"You know what I mean. Is it weird that I'm actually looking forward to fall?"

"Are you kidding? It's super weird." _Does he mean college? Did he get in? Why won't he say anything? Maybe I'm just paranoid and he's looking forward to Halloween._

Travis threw his arm around Connor's shoulders. "We should go swimming later."

"You want to get _more_ wet?"

"It's hot," Travis whined. He gave Connor a shake. "Katie and some of the other Demeter girls were talking about it earlier."

Connor smiled knowingly. "Oh, I see."

"What? So I stole the idea from them. They can't sue me."

"Are you sure you don't wanna go because Katie's going?"

"No, I just thought it was a good idea." Travis let his arm fall. "I mean, yeah, we could hang out with them if we went, but…"

"You want to see Katie in a bikini," Connor teased.

Travis laughed. It wasn't convincing. "Come on, bro, don't be gross."

"I'm not being gross. The human body is a beautiful, natural thing."

"Oh my gods, shut up. You're weirding me out."

"Trav? Trav." Connor put a hand on Travis' shoulder. "Everyone knows you have a crush on Katie Gardener. I know it. You know it. Mom knows it. Hell, _Dad_ knows it. You have been in love with her since she punched you in the face that one time."

Travis, still laughing unconvincingly, brushed Connor's hand away. "I'm not 'in love' with her. What makes you think that?"

"Probably the way you stare at her wistfully. Like this." Connor put his hands under his chin in his best Disney princess impersonation. He sighed dreamily. "Oh, Katie Gardener. Will she ever notice my affections?"

"I don't sound like that."

Connor ignored him. "When she yells at me, it is sweet music to my ears. Alas, I am but a simple fool, not fit to date such as she."

"Pretty good, but it needs some work." Miranda Gardiner had caught up to them without either brother noticing. Travis turned beet red.

"I think I know how to do an impression of my own brother, thank you very much," Connor said.

Miranda raised an eyebrow. "You should hear Katie's. She does both of you pretty well."

Well that confirmed Connor's suspicion that the Demeter cabin mocked the Stolls behind their backs. Connor folded his arms. He didn't have time for this. His shirt was chafing.

"Did you want something from us?"

"Yes, actually. We're trying to get the cabins to come together for a bonfire. Roasting marshmallows, telling stories, maybe a few songs, that kind of thing."

"Mr. D is actually going to let us have a bonfire?" Travis said.

"All he said was to get permission from the harpies and keep the drinks age appropriate. I think it was close enough to a party that he agreed. Though I don't know if the harpies will approve it now," Miranda added.

"It's not as if we have to leave camp for it," Travis said. "All the kids will be in one place where we can keep an eye on them. They'll let us have fun if we ask nicely."

"I hope," Connor said. His and Travis' idea of fun didn't always line up with everyone else's. A bonfire sounded great, though. Connor couldn't remember the last time they'd done anything like it, excluding their usual Fourth of July extravaganza.

"Anyway, we'll let you know when it's happening. You guys can go back to being dorks." Miranda sent them a sarcastic salute and jogged away.

Once she was far enough away, Travis punched Connor in the arm, a little harder than usual. "She heard you! Now she'll think—"

"Dude, she already _knows_. I told you. _Di immortales,_ denial isn't just a river in Egypt." Connor tugged at his damp collar. "Speaking of the Nile, I'm dying. Let's go swimming."

* * *

It wasn't just the Demeter kids who'd gotten the idea to take a dip in the lake. A few from other cabins had gathered there as well, including Percy Jackson, who practically lived in water these days. Connor and Travis took a running leap from the dock. It felt nice for Connor to submerge himself on purpose. When Eros had thrown him off a bridge in Paris, he'd seen his life flash past his eyes. Now that he was jumping of his own free will, that memory seemed like a bad dream.

Percy passed them underwater, pausing to wave and blow a stream of bubbles at them. Connor blew some back. He was only a little jealous of Percy's abilities. Breathing underwater had to be one of the coolest powers ever. If a younger Connor had been told he would one day know a real life version of Aquaman, his head would've exploded.

This sort of thing was what Connor loved the most, these simplistic summer moments where they didn't have to think. He and Travis floated on the surface for a while, not talking. Despite Travis' earlier protests, his eyes kept drifting to where Katie and her friends tossed a Nerf football in the shallows.

"You are so gone, Travis," Connor finally said.

To his surprise, Travis said, "Maybe." He crawled over to the dock and grabbed the edge. "She thinks I'm annoying."

Connor took a spot beside him. The water was cooler here where it was shadowed by the dock. Connor had pushed Percy and Annabeth off this very dock after the Titan war. If he was able to push things along with them, he could do it to his own brother and Katie. It would distract him from wondering about what Travis wasn't telling him.

"Isn't that how all great romances start?" Connor asked.

Travis shot him a skeptical look.

"Go over and hang out with her."

"I'm not taking romantic advice from my little brother," Travis said with a laugh. "Thanks anyway. I'm going to see if there are any cool rocks at the bottom."

"Don't flirt with the naiads," Connor warned.

Travis just laughed and let go of the dock, disappearing into the water. Connor was ready to follow when he saw Nico coming toward him. He clearly wasn't here to join them—he was still in his street clothes. (Albeit fresh ones.)

"I didn't expect to see you here," Connor said, pulling himself onto the planks.

"Well, I didn't plan on coming here. I'm surprised you got in the water after…"

"Oh. It takes more than that to traumatize me."

Nico looked at him for a long time, then sharply turned his head. "Don't you think you guys are being too carefree?"

"The threat's not that immediate." Connor pushed his wet hair out of his face. "I think sometimes this is all we _can_ do. Whatever it is, it's not a monster and all it did was make it rain. Right now, there's no harm in waiting to see what happens."

"You've got a point," Nico said, "but this thing broke the defenses. If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what does. Ha. It figures. You're not scared of ghosts or me, either."

"That's because you're not scary."

Nico turned back to him. Connor liked him so much it hurt. He could feel his heart beating faster, the urge to say something stupid rising. _Quick, say something else!_

"I mean, you're a hundred pounds soaking wet," Connor added. "No offense, but medium sized dogs are more intimidating than you."

Once again, Nico stared at him, stone-faced. Then, he put his hand on Connor's bare shoulder. It was cool, but to Connor it felt like fire. He actually stopped breathing for half a second.

He should've known better, because the next moment, Nico shoved him into the water. Connor was too taken off guard to resist. He hit the lake with a splash. When he popped back up again, Nico was on his feet.

" _Stronzetto_ ," he said. But it sounded like he was trying not to laugh.

Connor guessed he'd just been called something not-so-nice. He aimed a splash at Nico's legs. Nico jumped back just in time. He looked down at Connor with an odd half smile that made Connor's heart burst like a firecracker.

 _Just kill me already,_ he thought as he let himself sink. The sound of the lake filled his ears. _I'm so gone. So, so gone._

* * *

 **note: nico called him an "asshole" but kind of softened it with the "-etto" ending. thanks to hesperiis on ao3 for helping with that!  
**


	4. Distance

***updates the fic during the night and runs away***

* * *

Connor had been telling himself he could do this for five minutes now. He didn't get where this sudden jolt of nerves had come from. It was only Annabeth, after all. He had promised to tell her everything. He knew she hadn't forgotten about it, because she had a memory like an elephant. The only problem was that everything meant _everything_.

Annabeth was talking to Percy outside the Poseidon cabin. They were sitting side-by-side, angled toward each other and holding hands. Connor wished she were by herself. It wasn't as if she never was. It was just that Percy and Annabeth had always hung out with each other before they were a couple and hadn't stopped since they'd started dating. It could've been worse. Grover could've been there as well. Then Connor would've had to deal with six sets of eyes on him.

Taking a deep breath, Connor pushed forward. He ignored the look Percy gave him (a cross between "dude, do you mind?" and "fear of getting shaving cream sprayed in his face") and tapped Annabeth on the shoulder.

"Hey, owl-eyes," Connor said. "Can I have a moment of your time?"

Annabeth studied him curiously. Connor could tell she was trying to figure out what was wrong just by looking at him. He kept his pose and expression relaxed so that she wouldn't succeed.

"I'll be a minute," Annabeth said to Percy. She kissed his cheek and stood. "What's up?"

Connor nodded for her to follow him. They needed to go somewhere with less people. Annabeth didn't question him. She immediately understood the nature of the conversation they were about to have. Annabeth and Connor didn't have many heart-to-hearts, but they both had experience with handling sensitive information.

They walked down to the edge of the woods. Once Connor was sure nobody was within earshot, he said, "First things first, I'm not asking for advice. I just need to tell _someone_ about this and I've known you for years…"

"I understand." Annabeth folded her arms. "What did you do?"

Her tone wasn't accusatory. More matter-of-fact. The Stolls were always responsible for something.

Connor put his hands in his pockets. He rocked back on his heels. "You know that Nico is gay."

"Yes. I wasn't sure at first. I'm not always good at reading people." She paused while she thought. "Did he tell you or did you figure it out?"

"A bit of both. I asked him about it while we were on the quest. Did the whole spiel." Connor spun his hand in the air. "I was trying to be, like, a mentor or something. Except I fucked up."

Connor was infinitely grateful that Annabeth didn't say, "Of course you did." Despite all of the stupid things Connor had done over the years, Annabeth was taking him seriously. She gestured for him to go on. No judgment.

The whole Eros story spilled out. Then the rest of the story followed it. Connor was tempted to omit a few details, but he kept them in. If he couldn't be honest with Annabeth, he couldn't be honest with anyone. She tried to remain impassive, but he didn't blame her for cringing at certain parts.

"So after that, I started thinking. About Nico. About my feelings. It hit me when we were about to come home." Connor pressed his fist to his forehead. "All my motivations are bullshit. Everything I did was because I've got a fucking crush on him."

"I don't think that cancels out the nice things you've done for him. It just means…" Annabeth trailed off. "I'm sorry. This is advice. You didn't ask for it."

"No. Go ahead. Opinions are welcome."

"You care about him. You want him to be happy." She shrugged. "I don't think that's bullshit. I'm a little surprised, to be honest."

Connor had been secretly hoping she'd tell him off. "About me liking Nico?"

"I guess I never thought about you liking anyone in particular. You always treated people pretty much the same."

"I _tried_ to. Don't you think it's wrong? It feels like I'm double-crossing him."

Annabeth furrowed her brow. "I mean, he's kind of young. Other than that, I don't get what you mean."

"Annabeth, when Eros shot me, I practically _assaulted_ him." Connor's face burned with shame. "I swore to him that I never thought about him that way, would never ever try to kiss him as long as I live. Now it turns out that I _do_ want to kiss him."

It was the first time he'd admitted it out loud. Connor watched Annabeth's reaction. She seemed sympathetic. Yet she still said nothing.

Connor threw his hands in the air. "For the gods' sake, call me an idiot or something! You can even hit me if you want. I'm wide-open."

To prove it, he leaned forward and turned his cheek toward her. Annabeth stared at him in confusion.

"You… you're asking me to yell at you?"

Connor nodded.

"No." She shook her head. "If you want someone to give you a black eye, talk to Clarisse. I'm not here to be your judge.

"Annabeth—!"

"I wish I could help, but I can't. It's not my area. I don't think punishing you is going to fix anything." She turned and began to walk back to the cabins. She was only a few steps away when she added, "Thanks for trusting me. I'm sorry."

Connor sighed. "It's okay. Thanks for listening."

His chest did feel a little lighter. It had helped to talk about his feelings with someone who wasn't Travis. If he could just unburden himself completely. The only solution he could think of was to stay away from Nico. He would stop approaching him, stop meddling in his business, stop caring so damn much.

The last one might be impossible, but it would be best to keep his feelings under wraps. Nico would never know about it and maybe one day Connor would be able to forget. Annabeth wouldn't tell anyone because she had natural integrity. Eventually, the crush would fade.

* * *

It had been a few days since the freak rainstorm. Despite the stricter curfew and the counselors doing headcounts, it seemed like everyone had forgotten about it. Not Nico. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Paranoia was a double-edged sword. Though it made other people tend to look at him like he was crazy, it had also kept him safe when he'd been on his own.

Annabeth had given him her assigned reading book. Apparently she didn't want to look at it anymore, at least until the school year started. Nico didn't know why she thought he would be interested. He had nothing against reading—like all demigods, it was a struggle, but one he could work through with enough pauses—but the stuff they made kids read for school was so boring. At Westover, they'd forced him to read Sun Tzu's, _The Art of War_ , which he hadn't finished and couldn't remember anything about. (Nico had once said something sarcastic to his father about adding assigned reading to the Fields of Punishment and _he actually considered it for five seconds._ )

However, the book turned out to be useful, because aside from chores and the usual training, Nico discovered he had nothing to do. Percy and Annabeth had their own concerns, no one from the other cabins was willing to talk to him, and Connor had gone back to avoiding him. Normally, that would've been a good thing. Nico was starting to hate it now.

Why was he being so hot and cold? It wasn't like him. Nico had tried approaching him once or twice, but Connor would always conveniently be headed somewhere else at the same time. They hadn't talked since the lake.

 _Maybe he knows and he's trying to shut me down,_ Nico thought. _Or he could just be busy keeping a handle on everything. He actually has campers to take care of and I don't. I should be fine with this._

If Connor was finally giving him space, Nico should be glad, right? It meant that he didn't have to feel lightheaded and blushy around him anymore. He might even nip this stupid crush in the bud. Instead, it was producing the opposite effect. Nico was starting to look for Connor when he wasn't there. He was starting to wish that Connor would look at him, just to acknowledge his existence.

Eros had told Nico that he was miserable because he couldn't figure out what he wanted. Nico didn't want to believe him. Except he could be right. Gods, it was easier when he'd had a crush on Percy. There was the comforting certainty that Percy would never return his feelings. Knowing that Connor _could_ did all sorts of things to his brain.

So, because there were no other options and it was a good distraction, Nico cracked open Annabeth's book. He spent a few minutes admiring her highlighting. Being an architect in training, she had a steady hand. There was some kind of color-coding going on, but Nico couldn't figure it out. He actually started reading the book thirty minutes after opening the front cover.

 _I must be sick,_ Nico thought, a little while later. He was enjoying it. For a book called _The Loved One_ , it was incredibly bleak. Nico had been terrified of getting tricked into reading a sappy love story. But no. "Loved Ones" were corpses. Despite what he'd said to Percy, this was kind of Nico's wheelhouse. He'd always felt more comfortable around the dead than the living. Most of what had bothered Annabeth (according to her notes) didn't disturb him the same way.

He was still reading when a dryad almost tripped over him. She managed to catch herself just in time, but she hadn't managed to avoid knocking the book out of Nico's hands.

"Watch it," Nico grumbled.

"You watch it," she shot back. She seemed agitated. Nico didn't talk to the dryads often. They were naturally wary of him. Yet they always appeared relaxed, unless their home plant was under threat. The dryad was also dripping wet.

Nico gathered the book and brushed the dirt off of it. "I was just sitting here. You were the one walking."

"Hmmph! I don't have the patience to deal with anymore rudeness. Do you know what I've been through today? Huh?"

 _No, and I don't care._ "Whatever. I'm sorry."

"I have had it with those naiads!" She stamped her foot. "And I've had it with you demigods just sitting around wherever you please. If you want to spend time in _our_ forest so badly, you can stay forever!"

 _What is she talking about?_ Nico wondered.

The dryad waved her hands and a pair of roots shot up from the ground, wrapping themselves around Nico's ankles. He tried to pull them free, but the roots were stronger. He was trapped.

"Ta-ta!" the dryad said, and bounded into the woods.

"Hey! I didn't do anything to you!" Nico shouted after her. He kept struggling. The roots didn't budge. He wished he had something to cut them with, although he might end up chopping his feet off in the process.

Nico was at the edge of the forest, so if he shouted, someone might come along to help him. However, he was also close enough for anything hanging around _in_ the forest to hear him. Nico might become an easy snack for whatever they'd stocked the woods with.

"Fuck this," he grumbled. He fell back with a huff. Maybe someone passing by would notice him. Actually, he would rather get eaten than have another camper know he'd got owned by a dryad.

Nico didn't know how long he'd been lying there when he heard something approaching. _Please don't be another dryad. Or a monster. Or another camper. Please be nothing._

"What happened here?" said a female voice.

Nico looked up. Of all the people in the world, he hadn't been expecting Katie Gardner. She bent over him. There was a concerned look in her eyes.

"Um. Hi," Nico said. He tried to remember if he'd ever spoken directly to her before. Nico had always gotten the impression the Demeter cabin didn't like him, for the same reason the dryads stayed away. Plus, there was bad blood between Demeter and Hades.

Katie knelt and touched the roots. "Come on," she said. "Let him go."

The roots listened. They relaxed and slithered back into the ground. Nico stared in awe. He rarely got to see the Demeter cabin's powers in action. They weren't the most useful in a fight.

"Thanks," Nico said as he stood. He picked up the book. It still had a bit of dirt on it, but otherwise it was fine.

"You're welcome. What are you doing out here? It's a weird place to be reading." Katie pointed at _The Loved One._

"It's quiet." Nico didn't know what else to say. Should he mention the thing with the dryad? Katie was apparently on good terms with them. "Um… have you noticed anything weird going on with the dryads? One of them tripped over me and then she, uh, rooted me. She kept yelling at me for some reason."

"No." Katie looked confused. "That does sound kind of weird, though. I can ask. Are you sure you didn't do anything to upset her?"

"I was just sitting here. I think the dryads don't like me in general."

"Well, for now you might want to pick a new spot," Katie suggested. She laughed. "I'm glad I found you, otherwise you might've been stuck here for a while."

Nico said nothing. He wasn't sure how to respond. The only things he knew about Katie Gardner was that she was a daughter of Demeter, she could talk to plants, she was nice, and Travis Stoll had a crush on her. Now that he was talking to her face-to-face, he also knew that she was very, very freckled.

"Anyway," she went on, realizing that he wasn't going to say anything back, "you shouldn't be all by yourself in the first place."

"I'm okay with it."

"Don't you get lonely?"

It was like asking if a fish ever realized they were wet. Nico was so used to feeling lonely that he hardly noticed it anymore. He didn't want to tell Katie any of this. He didn't know her.

Katie smiled sympathetically. She looked like she wanted to touch his shoulder, but decided against it. "You should come to the bonfire. It's for all the campers. It'll be fun."

 _Reach out._ Truthfully, there was only so long Nico could resist human interaction. He was already sick of himself. Even if Katie was just inviting him out of pity, he still felt a twinge of gratefulness. No one ever invited him to anything.

"I will, thanks," Nico said.

If everyone would be there, Connor would be there, too. And despite everything, Nico wanted to see him.

* * *

Connor had not realized that avoiding someone could be this hard. Camp Half-Blood had a limited population, even with the influx of new demigods. Though he hadn't spoken to Nico in days, he kept seeing him. There was no choice when it came to the dining pavilion. Everyone had to eat. Connor also had to make himself stare at other things whenever Nico was around. His eyes kept following him wherever he showed up.

Travis noticed something was up. "You're acting weird lately. What's up?"

"Nothing."

"You're not sick or anything?"

"Nope. I feel fine."

"You didn't have a fight with your BFF did you? You haven't talked to him in a while," Travis pointed out.

Connor shrugged. "He's not attached to my hip. You know how he is. Nico does his own thing."

"It's just that you seem pretty down. Like you got dumped."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Trav," Connor said. "Drop it, okay?"

Travis sighed. "Gods, all I'm trying to do is look out for you."

He didn't want to fight. Connor was about to say sorry for getting short, but his brother had walked out. _What's his problem? He's acting like it's the end of the world if I don't tell him everything that's going on in my head when he won't even admit he likes a girl._

That and the college question still hadn't been answered. Connor had been trying to remember if Travis had ever mentioned career plans to him. He didn't think he had, considering the word "career" made them both break out in hives. It made them think of faceless suits in cubicles. Travis wasn't stupid (though he tended to jump first and ask questions later), so it wasn't as if his options were limited. He worked well with people. That was a start.

Travis was also, thanks to their dad, good with money. Connor couldn't picture him being an accountant or a banker, though, so that option was out. Actually, anything that involved wearing a tie was off the list. Sometimes Connor had thought about the two of them becoming professional con artists. It would've disappointed their mom, but there was a time in their lives when it had seemed like they weren't good at anything else.

Connor left the cabin, resolved not to think about it anymore. Camp was chugging along like it usually did. Kids were training on the rock wall and in the arena. Steam and smoke poured from the Hephaestus bunker. The thunderstorm had unsettled them for a moment but it hadn't taken long for the status quo to resume.

He knew there was somewhere he needed to be, but Connor didn't _want_ to be there right now. Instead, he went for a walk. A wind rising off the strawberry fields mixed with the slightly salty scent of Long Island Sound. It was hard to imagine Camp Half-Blood in the middle of anything but an eternal summer.

Connor knew it _could_ be winter here. He'd lived through a few at camp. They were always perfect—not too cold and not too warm, with just enough snow. Nico had arrived at camp in winter. As such, Connor had a hard time separating the two concepts. It was kind of a high and a low point in the history of Camp Half-Blood. Connor was never quite sure how to feel about it.

Knowing that no one would be around, Connor went to the dining pavilion. He walked around its edges. When his mom had been writing her book, she'd sent him and Travis a bunch of pictures of her trip. In Greece, there were ruins everywhere. You could be standing in front of a modern grocery store and—bam! —there was an old temple across the street. Connor hadn't been as jealous as he usually was whenever his mom went abroad. He _lived_ in a cabin like that. Columns and marble were his everyday life.

 _Maybe Travis wants to travel?_ He chuckled to himself at the alliteration. Travis could have his own show on PBS: _Travelin' with Travis_. Connor couldn't picture that either. Travis didn't have the personality for walking serenely around Switzerland, explaining the history of trains.

Connor was thinking about it again. He shook his head. All he was doing by worrying about it was making himself nervous. And he'd thought about Nico earlier. That was bad. He had to stay neutral. Except it was hard not to think about people he loved. Like being told not to think of a pink elephant.

Travis. Marble. Nico. Winter. Getting pummeled by Phoebe, the Hunter. Playing poker with Nico in their cabin after lights out. Losing. The Oracle walking for the first time ever. The winter that brought him Nico and the one that took him away.

Connor traced the crack in the dining pavilion's floor with his foot. He had searched—they'd all searched—the woods for hours after Nico disappeared. He was wet with snow by the end of it, his hand curled stiff from holding the flashlight. They were all cold, inside and out. Another demigod gone.

"Do you think he joined Luke?" Travis had asked as they trekked back to Cabin 11 to dry off.

 _Please, no,_ Connor thought. Out loud, he said, "Maybe." Because it was the truth. He had only known Nico for a short time, but it was clear to see that he let his emotions lead. A young angry demigod mourning the death of his older sister, unclaimed by his godly parent, was the perfect candidate for Luke's army.

Then, losing himself for a second, Connor said, "We're not good at this."

He had been thinking about how it would feel if Travis died. He had been thinking about how Nico had come running up to the Big House for his sister. He had been thinking about how demigods kept slipping through their fingers, no matter how hard they tried, and he was barely fourteen himself. A mess of puberty and responsibility.

"What are you talking about?" Travis said through chattering teeth. "We're boss at this."

"We couldn't keep _one_ kid from running away."

"Technically that's Percy's fault."

Connor shook his head. "People run away because they think there's nothing to come back to. If he gave up on Percy… that's all that mattered. We're chopped liver."

Travis sighed. "Some balloons float away." Beat. "I shouldn't have said it was Percy's fault. He blames himself already. That guy has it rough."

"I shouldn't have joked about someone dying on the quest."

"All you did was repeat what the Oracle said. Not like you said, 'wouldn't it be hilarious if Bianca di Angelo got crushed by a robot in the desert?'"

Something inside Connor snapped. He threw his flashlight on the ground. "This sucks! Everything sucks! I want to do something but I can't. I can't do anything!"

Travis had said nothing. After a few awkward seconds, Connor picked up the flashlight again and returned to camp proper. The Stolls weren't good at outbursts or tantrums. They played dirty and right now, there was nothing to get revenge against.

Later, Connor had gone to see the crack in the dining pavilion. He felt it with his hands, startled by how deep it was. The earth had opened up here. He knew it was Nico's doing. Percy wasn't one for earthquakes.

 _I know who his dad is._ Percy had said only that Nico got upset and ran, but Connor knew a lie by omission when he heard one. Something had gone down between them. Whatever it was, Percy wanted it hidden. Connor could guess why.

He trusted Percy's judgment. It was probably better if no one knew, or rather, that no one said it. Connor was a lot of things but he wasn't a snitch. He wouldn't tell Percy that he knew, he wouldn't tell Chiron or Mr. D, and he certainly wouldn't tell any of the other campers.

What he really wanted to say to Percy was, "I'm sorry. Travis and I could've done more. Maybe he would've come back if he knew we were all his family. We tried."

But it had sounded stupid. And weak.

Back in the present, Nico said, "They should get that fixed."

Connor's head snapped up. He didn't know why he felt embarrassed. It wasn't as if Nico caught him singing in front of the mirror. Nico's eyes were trained on the floor.

"What are you doing here?" Connor asked.

"I was going to ask you that. Dinner isn't for a while."

"Oh, I was just… hanging out. Thinking."

Nico crouched by the cleft in the stone. He scratched at it with a stubby fingernail. "That's weird for you. What about?"

 _You. I'm always thinking about you lately._ "Stuff."

"I wanted to ask," Nico said haltingly, "why you're not annoying me like you used to."

Connor swallowed. "Because you didn't like it?"

"I thought—Never mind. You're right." Nico stood up. "You're, uh, allowed to annoy me sometimes. I said we were friends, didn't I?"

"Yeah. Of course." Connor stood up as well. The conflicting thoughts in his brain were giving him a headache. _Hang out with Nico. No, get as far away from him as possible._

A piece of stale silence stretched out between them. They were both waiting for the other to say something. Connor threw himself on the grenade.

"What do you want to do?"

Nico apparently hadn't thought about it. There was another pause while he tried to come up with something. "Do you still… do you still have that movie? The one with Gene Kelly?"

" _Singin' in the Rain_."

"That one."

A third, agonizing pause. Connor said, "You wanna watch it? I have some snacks under my bunk."

"That sounds good, actually."

Connor's starving heart felt full again.

* * *

 **anyone else remember when the titan's curse was the latest percy jackson book? hoo boy**


	5. Self-Control

**here, take this self indulgent garbage.**

* * *

Nico sat an appropriate distance from Connor, hands tucked between his chest and thighs. He tried to focus on the movie. It shouldn't have been hard. There were a ton of flashy song and dance numbers, lots of jokes, and Gene Kelly in the middle of it all. Yet Connor's presence was distracting all by itself.

At the halfway point, he brought out a bag of sour gummi worms. He offered some to Nico. Ordinarily, Nico would've refused, but he needed something to do. Connor committed a gummi massacre. He eviscerated them, lowering neon colored worms into his mouth like a death trap. Nico found he couldn't look away. Connor's method of eating resembled a car crash.

 _I can't like him. Just look at him._

And yet Nico was feeling sick and light-headed and fluttery sitting this close to him. His fingers impossible not to—but all the happiness was getting to him today. Gene Kelly had it easy; he could go tap dancing in the streets when he was in love. Nico had to sit in the slightly humid confines of Cabin 11 in total silence.

Okay, "in love" was a little strong. It wasn't like Nico wanted to start singing and dancing anyway. He just wanted it to be easier.

"Do you think Gene Kelly was a demigod?" Connor asked out of the blue. He sounded as uneasy as Nico felt.

Nico shrugged.

"I bet his godly parent was Apollo or Dionysus."

"Could've been Aphrodite."

"He was handsome enough." Connor sighed wistfully. He clamped his teeth down on one end of a gummi worm and tore it from his mouth. "You missed a lot of classic Hollywood when you were in that hotel. Shame."

"Bianca hardly let me watch movies anyway." Bianca would have had strong objections to a lot of the movies Connor and Travis had shown him. _Singin' in the Rain_ was safe, but Nico could imagine that she'd never let him watch _Ghostbusters_.

A couple minutes passed, then Connor sat up like he'd been shot. "Oh!" he said, scrambling off the bunk.

"What is it?" Nico asked. His muscles tensed. It set him on edge whenever a fellow demigod jumped like that. You never knew what kind of danger might be coming around the next corner. Granted, they were in the safest possible place for demigods, but Nico had survived for so long by being paranoid.

Connor was on his knees, rummaging under the bed. When he came back up he was holding a dusty rectangular thing. He made an attempt to clean it with the edge of his shirt. The dust was so thick that he hardly smudged it.

"I almost forgot," Connor said. He held it out. "Merry really belated Christmas."

It was a binder. No, not just any binder: it was a Mythomagic binder. The whole thing had been painted to look like an epic battle between the gods. Zeus was framed in clouds at the top, poised to throw a thunderbolt. Below was an image of Hades with his arms outstretched, purple and black smoke weaving around his arms. The rest of the pantheon crowded along the edges.

Nico had wanted one of these when he was younger. His Mythomagic deck hadn't been that expansive, but it was a real pain to carry around the figurines and the cards. Bianca had told him to use a plain binder, but the ones they used for school didn't have the plastic sheets with the card pockets.

He opened the Mythomagic binder. There were the sheets. Connor grinned at him, a gummi worm still hanging between his teeth.

"I was going to throw it away, but you said you'd take it. Ta-da!"

Nico's stomach turned. The mixture of emotions was making him feel sick. He remembered Connor telling him about this. He'd thought the other boy hadn't remembered that conversation—he'd been half asleep at the time. Nico didn't know which shocked him more: that Connor had recalled telling Nico about the old Christmas gift or that he had actually kept it under his bed for that long.

It was such a damn shame that it was completely useless. Nico had burned the majority of his cards after he'd left. And he would never play Mythomagic again.

"I figure you can take this part out," Connor said, tugging at the card pockets. "Then you can put your angsty poetry in here or whatever. Draw some devil horns on Zeus. Give Aphrodite a mustache."

"Why did you get this for me?" Nico blurted.

Connor looked up at him. His blue eyes were wide and curious. "We thought you'd be with us for Christmas," he said, as if stating the obvious.

"That doesn't mean you had to get me something. I… I didn't have anything to give you guys." Nico hoped the warmth that he felt in his ears wasn't a blush. He hadn't even _thought_ about Christmas back then. What with Bianca and the emphasis on the Winter Solstice and the existence of real magic, it'd gone completely out of his mind.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but it's because we felt sorry for you."

"What?"

"Let me finish." Connor leaned on his mattress. "Lots of kids who come to camp are like you were. You didn't have any family besides your sister and she was going away. And at that point she might have already been…" He stopped himself, then resumed. "Not to mention you were unclaimed. We noticed that you were pretty down about Bianca joining the Hunters, so we thought a little extra gesture might cheer you up."

"Did any of the others get a present?"

At this, Connor rubbed the back of his neck. "You were a… special case."

That set Nico's heart beating faster. He tried to calm it. _I'm being stupid. That has nothing to do with what we're talking about. He just said it's because he pitied me._

"We lost a bunch of kids that year," Connor went on. "We didn't want anyone feeling, uh, alone. To the point where they would join Luke. You seemed kind of at risk."

"It was just a bribe, then." Nico set the binder aside. Looking at it set off ripples of shame and sadness inside him.

"Nico."

"I'll probably put it in the trash anyway."

"That's fine. It's yours." Connor rested his chin on the edge of the mattress and lolled his head to one side. "All I wanted to do was make you feel at home. Show I cared."

 _He didn't say "we."_ Nico swallowed. He wanted to say thanks but he couldn't get the words out.

Connor saved him the trouble by straightening up. He put a knee on the bed as he reached for the binder. "Welp. Might as well take this down to the braziers, since you're not going to use it."

Nico snatched the binder up without thinking. "I can take care of it!"

"You looked uncomfortable holding it, so I thought I'd…"

"I'll find a dumpster to put it in," Nico said, hugging it to his chest. He was picturing the thing melting in the fire. He felt an odd surge of protectiveness. "You shouldn't burn plastics."

"Then I'll take it to the dumpster." Connor put out a hand.

Nico scooted backwards. Only when he caught sight of Connor's smile did he realize what was going on. He really did blush this time. _Di immortales, I'm an idiot._

"It's, uh, I mean… you went to a lot of trouble for it. I could always repurpose it."

He was too late. Connor's smile spread even wider. "Oh, I see," he said. "You act like you're not a cute little nerd anymore, but there's a part of you that still…"

"It's not about Mythomagic," Nico said. It was the truth. He had burned his cards with only a minor twinge of regret. He was going to deface the damn thing anyway. His desire to hang onto it had more to do with the fact that it was a gift from Connor.

Connor nodded sagely. "I believe you. You obviously don't care anymore. It was just a dumb kiddie game that only gave Hermes 2,000 speed points…"

"5,000." _Crap._

"How do you remember that stuff?" Connor laughed. He sat back on his heels. "You haven't played in forever."

"I should be asking you that," Nico grumbled, relaxing his hold on the binder now that he knew Connor wasn't going to take it. "You knew it was wrong. I only told you that once."

"My brain must've saved it in case I needed to tease you about it in the future."

"I wish you wouldn't."

Connor gave Nico's knee a "horse bite." He said, "Aw, I do it because I love you."

The cabin fell silent, save for the murmur of voices from Connor's portable DVD player. Connor pulled his hand away like he'd touched a hot stove. Nico realized he was holding his breath and let it out.

"Sorry," Connor said, his voice tight. "I shouldn't make fun of you. I'm sure you don't like being reminded. I just didn't want you to throw it away."

"I wouldn't. People don't normally give me gifts."

They were both speaking quietly. Why was it that the sudden appearance of three innocuous words made everything awkward? Connor hadn't meant it the way Nico was thinking. It was another bit of teasing. Except why did he look worried, too?

 _It must have something to do with the soul-bonding. I'll bet he's still guilty about what happened with Eros._ Nico swung his legs off the bed. He didn't care that the movie wasn't over yet. He needed to clear his head.

"I gotta go," he said. "I need to… I need to practice. See you." Nico rushed out. He tucked the binder under his arm. He had his head down, so he didn't see Travis rounding the corner. Nico almost headbutted him in the stomach.

"Whoa," Travis said good-naturedly. He sidestepped. "What are you in a hurry for?"

"Forgot something," Nico lied. He tried to conceal the binder from sight as he jogged away.

* * *

Connor fell forwards. He lay face-down until it got uncomfortable to breathe. "I'm an idiot," he muttered.

"What else is new?" The mattress dipped as Travis sat down.

Connor lifted his head. When had his brother gotten here? He hoped Travis hadn't seen Nico leaving. He didn't need any questions.

"What are you watching?" Travis asked. He dragged the DVD player over and whistled. " _Singin' in the Rain_. Nice."

"I thought you were watching the climbing wall," Connor said.

"And you should be helping the other kids spar. Percy's down there now, being a menace." Travis smiled with all his teeth. "Annabeth's the only one who can kick his ass right now. It's not fair."

Connor groaned and pushed himself upright. "Since when do you harp on me about my responsibilities?"

Travis didn't answer. He just put a hand into the pocket of his shorts and withdrew a folded piece of paper. He seemed unreasonably happy, about to burst. It was infectious; Connor felt his pulse speed up as he took the paper and unfolded it.

"Since," Travis said, "I got into college."

The news hit Connor like a tidal wave. He would've accused Travis of messing with him if the acceptance letter wasn't right there in his hands. Connor read it once, twice, a third time. It wasn't a fake.

"You're going to NYU?" Connor said.

"Yep." Travis beamed at him. "They're giving me a scholarship, too, so Mom won't have to drain the college fund. I won't be too far from home either."

"When did you apply? I never saw anything…"

"It was sort of a secret. I didn't know if I'd actually get accepted or not, plus there was the thing about the money." Travis took back the letter. He refolded it and slid it into his pocket. "So? Why are you looking at me like that? Something on my face?"

"I had no idea you were going to college. I didn't even know you wanted to."

"Of course I want to. Mom wasn't saving all those years for nothing."

"Yeah, but…" But what? Connor stared at his brother. Contrary to popular belief, it was not like looking in a mirror. Travis had more freckles, a tighter slant to his eyes. It used to be a familiar face. Now it seemed like a stranger's.

Travis' smile dimmed. "Are you mad?"

 _Yes. Yes, I am mad._ Connor found a solid emotion and grasped it with both hands. "You applied to NYU without telling me? Are you moving out?"

"Yeah. That's part of the whole college experience. It's close but not close enough to commute."

"And _now_ you're telling me about your crazy plans?"

"It's not a crazy plan," Travis said. "I'm going to school, Con."

"By yourself?"

Understanding passed over Travis' features. He sighed heavily. "I can't take you with me. We can't do _everything_ together for the rest of our lives. I need to go to college so that I can get a job that isn't minimum wage."

"It's not about that!" Connor lied.

"You knew this was gonna happen," Travis said. "I don't know why you're so pissed now."

"Because you never said anything about it! I had no idea what you wanted to do with your life. The least you could've done was told me where you were applying."

Travis rolled his eyes. "It's not the end of the world, Connor."

"Yeah, but what happens if a monster breaks into your dorm room and eats you? You'd be hours away from home and camp." Connor was trying not to yell. He couldn't believe Travis was acting like this was no big deal.

" _You_ could have died when you and Nico di Angelo jaunted off to Europe a few weeks ago. How was that by the way?" Travis clasped his hands together and fluttered his eyelashes. "Did you confess your undying love to him on top of the Eiffel Tower?"

Connor frowned. "That was different. It was serious."

"This is serious, too. Why can't you be happy for me?"

 _Because I might never see you again._ "You're so selfish."

"I'm selfish?" Travis laughed. "I'm the selfish one? Look in the mirror sometime, bro. You keep stringing di Angelo on and you'll get a one-way ticket to the Underworld."

"I'm not stringing anybody on," Connor said. "I'm his friend."

"Keep telling yourself that. All I'm saying is that you better make up your mind whether you want to date him or not, because that kid holds grudges."

"Nico's not interested in me like that." Connor pretended it didn't hurt to say it out loud. He'd faced reality in Paris and he wasn't ready to revisit that pain.

"That's funny, because he stares at you a lot."

"Nico stares at everyone. It's what he does. Anyway, that's not what we're talking about."

"Yeah? What were you doing with him before I got here? Alone in the cabin."

Connor turned pink. "Nothing happened. Don't be gross."

"Weird. I thought I heard something a few minutes ago. It sounded like, 'I love you.' Then Nico leaves with that old Christmas present you bought him, looking upset."

"That was taken out of context."

"Sure. You know, you never told me about what happened in Paris. So I guess we're even on the not-telling-each-other-stuff count." Travis snatched up the portable DVD player and snapped it shut. "This is mine, by the way. Ask next time."

 _But we share everything._ Connor was at a loss. All he could was glare at Travis for a few seconds. Then he said, "I should get down to the arena" before walking out.

* * *

Percy was in high spirits when he saw Connor. He'd been sparring with some of the younger campers for a while. They were sweaty and smiling, despite the bruises and scratches.

"Jackson, what did I tell you about thrashing the beginners?" Connor barked, imitating a drill sergeant.

"It's not my fault. They asked me." Percy grinned. He pointed Riptide at Connor's chest. "Wanna try going up against me?"

Normally Connor would've declined. He could hold his own, but Percy was a better swordsman than him and didn't pull any punches. This time, however, he needed to let off steam. If he didn't have something to do with his hands, he would explode.

"Sure. Just don't kill me by accident. I'll come back and haunt you."

Percy laughed a little. He waited while Connor took a sword from one of the beginners. It was long enough and well-balanced, but Connor had never felt _right_ with a sword. He was a trap and knife kind of guy, if he had to be specific.

More importantly, he fought back-to-back with Travis. His thoughts turned sour. _I can't believe he would do that. He even dragged Nico into it. What does he know?_

As he'd predicted, Connor got his ass handed to him. Not that he didn't put up a fight. By the end of it, Percy was breathing heavily and rubbing a spot on his back where Connor had thumped him with the hilt of his sword.

"Jeez," Percy said. "You went all out this time."

"I couldn't let the audience think I was a wimp." Connor blew a kiss to the watching demigods. A couple of them giggled.

"I thought you were going for my throat a couple times." Percy helped Connor up from where he'd knocked him into the dirt. "It was kind of scary."

"Really? You're just saying that."

Though the details were sketchy, most of camp knew that nothing could hurt Percy Jackson. It made him a good candidate for beginners to spar with. If they screwed up, they wouldn't kill him with an overly strong swing. It helped them get used to actual weapons. Connor had been trying to find out what the deal was for a while, but Annabeth wasn't talking and no one else could be sure. Some gift from the gods, maybe.

Percy fumbled with the straps of his armor. "Could you take over? I'm going to check out the stables." His shirt was dark with sweat. "Thanks for the fight, Connor. I think you made some fans."

The younger demigods were staring at the pair of them, impressed. They had made it to camp a couple weeks ago and were still learning the ropes. Despite their dusty, sweat-streaked faces, they looked like they were having fun.

"They're probably just here for you," Connor whispered. "You're the Chosen One."

"Shut up, man," Percy said with a laugh.

Connor returned it. He felt better. The exertion had burned off most of his anger. Not to mention that Percy was fun to be around. Ever since the huge, destined battle in New York ended, Percy had been able to relax. It was easier to hang out with him now that he wasn't having to constantly go on quests.

Connor understood why Nico had fallen in love with this boy. Heroic, handsome, kind, funny… it was no wonder that someone other than Annabeth had gotten a crush on him. Connor didn't want to be jealous of Percy—the guy was no threat to him—but he got occasional twinges. Sometimes he thought, _How can I ever compete with that?_

But Connor-and-Nico had just as much of a chance as Percy-and-Nico. There was no point. Connor liked Percy and didn't want to screw up their friendship for something that would never happen. He'd quit feeling the way he did about Nico eventually. Then everything could go back to normal.

* * *

Nico stuffed the binder under his bunk. He couldn't look at it without cringing. He could've kissed Connor back there. All it would've took was to lean a few inches forward. He remembered how Connor had kissed him when he'd been struck by Cupid's arrow. Tongue. Neck. Nico could've done that. It would be like getting even.

He imagined being the one to leave Connor breathless and sweating, his hair messed up, covered in hickeys, a wobble in his walk. Nico closed his eyes and savored that image for a few seconds. Then he blushed and tried to smother himself with his pillow. _What can I do to turn this off?_

Did other guys his age think like this about girls? Did girls think this way about guys? Did gay guys? Or was it just him? There was no one he could ask. If he was really desperate, he could've asked someone from the Aphrodite cabin, but nothing could compel him to go there. Only David could be trusted and Nico didn't feel comfortable sharing intimate details with him.

"What am I going to do?" he whispered.

There was no answer. No helpful spirits popped up. No Iris messages appeared from thin air. Nico groaned and tossed his pillow at the wall. This was the problem with being a child of the Big Three. Having no cabin mates could be a good thing, but in this case, Nico realized how isolated he was. If things had worked out the way they were supposed to, Bianca would be here.

 _Bianca._ A sudden surge of anger overtook him. Nico curled his fingers into fists. Selfish Bianca, who had abandoned him when he needed her most, who had died for something as stupid and inconsequential as a game piece. And then her soul had moved on and he was no longer able to reach her. He wanted to yell and rage and tell her—

But he couldn't. Bianca was gone. Forever.

As quickly as it had come, the anger faded. Nico caught his breath. He felt hot and cold all at once. The shadows in the room seemed darker. The faint sound of ghostly chattering echoed around the room. It had been a long time since he'd gotten that angry, especially about Bianca.

"Go away," he told the shadows. "I don't need you."

The chattering faded. Nico put his hands to his face. He didn't think he was feverish. When he was younger, he used to get sick all the time. He'd had a weak constitution. Nowadays, he was a little hardier, but sometimes things snuck up on him. Maybe this was one of those cases.

What worried him was that it hadn't felt like himself. Nico was familiar with anger. Rage had fueled him for so long that it was hard to forget its immediacy. Whatever had just happened to him was different. He couldn't explain it.

Nico shook his head. He was just off-balance because of the situation with Connor. Once he got over that, he'd start feeling better. He stood up and took a deep breath. He would go for a walk, then he would take out some frustrations in the practice arena. Hopefully Connor would be gone by then.

As he left, he thought he felt a presence behind him. He spun around. There was nothing. Nico guessed it was one of the spirits he'd almost summoned earlier. They were so difficult to get rid of.

"I told you, it's fine. You can go." Nico stepped out into the bright sunlight.

* * *

 **please no one tell me what college travis actually goes to, if uncle rick specified. i have a whole future one shot planned. edit:**  
 **oh btw a "horse bite" is pinching someone's knee with your hole hand and literally no one likes it lol. i mention this only because i have no clue whether other people call it that or if it's just my family.**


	6. Amore

**hi thanks for checking in i'm ~still a piece of garbage~**

* * *

Connor made himself a promise for bonfire night: do not get starry-eyed and flirt with Nico again. Also try to mend things with Travis. He was roped into distributing marshmallows and skewers, so that would help keep him from wandering to Nico's side. Hopefully.

Campers helped gather driftwood from the beach. The salt gave the fire an unusual tint. Connor thought it was pretty. The scent of smoke, salt, and bugspray tickled his nose. He couldn't think of anything more quintessentially "summer." It was going to be hard to say goodbye to it all, just like every year.

 _It's going to be worse this year,_ Connor thought. He and Travis hadn't had time to talk since their argument. Travis was leaving. There was no changing that. It just wasn't fair. Travis wouldn't be around to complain to about school anymore; he wouldn't be there to fill the empty rooms at home or occupy a seat at the dinner table. He could be gone forever.

There had to be a way to make him reconsider. Their mom wouldn't agree to it. She couldn't.

 _Why not?_ whispered a little voice in his head. _They discussed everything else without you. You weren't a part of that conversation._

Connor ignored those thoughts and started opening boxes of graham crackers. He could fix this before Travis had to leave. They were brothers. A little thing like this wouldn't get between them.

* * *

Nico hovered at the edge of the festivities for a few minutes. He didn't want to get close. There were too many people. If he showed up, it would only ruin the atmosphere. Nico sighed. He'd been all keyed up to go and now he was losing his nerve.

 _Connor's there,_ he thought. _It'll give me an excuse to talk to him._ In fact, more people being there made this easier. It would keep things from escalating like they had in the empty cabin. Nico took a few more deep breaths and plunged into the fray.

Almost everyone was hanging out around the fire. A couple of Apollo kids were singing and noodling on a guitar. He spotted Katie Gardener chatting with a Hecate girl, who was forming shapes in the fire. The face she was conjuring looked kind of like a famous actor, but Nico couldn't remember his name. He didn't bother with it. There was only one face he particularly wanted to see.

He found it relatively easily. Connor was breaking open packages of chocolate and marshmallows at a table someone had dragged down to the beach. Percy was standing next to him, helping out with napkins. The sight of his current and former crush occupying in the same place momentarily paralyzed Nico, but he forced himself to go on. Walking over, he realized Connor was singing.

Connor was not an amazing singer, but he could carry a tune. He was belting out some cheesy song Nico didn't recognize. As he got close to the table, he heard the words.

"When an eel lunges out and it bites off your snout," Connor pinched Nico's nose before he had time to react. "That's a moray!"

Nico stared at him, utterly lost. Connor looked back at him expectantly, then burst out laughing. He doubled over. Percy echoed him, but less loudly. When Nico's confused gaze traveled to him, he explained.

"Morays are a kind of eel."

Knowing that didn't help at all.

Connor straightened up again. "Percy, Percy, Percy. You're answering the wrong question. 'A moray' sounds like ' _amore_ '. The song is _That's Amore!_ "

"There's a song," Nico said, "about eels biting off people's noses… called _That's Amore!_ "

More laughter. Percy waved a hand.

"No, no, the actual lyrics are like 'when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's _amore_.'"

"Oh." It was a pun. He looked at Connor. "You didn't come up with that, did you?"

"Nope. I wish I did."

 _Why do I like him? Why did this happen?_ Nico tried not to think too much about Connor singing a love song at him. He picked up a skewer. "I could stick this through your head."

"Yeah, but you won't," Connor said.

Nico looked down at the ingredients on the table. He was aware of Percy studying the exchange. Despite being incredibly dense, Percy could pick things up sometimes. He told himself to stop worrying. Percy didn't seem to notice that Nico was interested in boys in the first place.

"I'm going to go ahead and take these," Nico said, grabbing a napkin with what looked like the necessary ingredients laid out on it, "and forget this conversation ever happened."

He hurried away, hoping the fire's heat would disguise the fact that he was blushing.

* * *

Connor eventually got tired of standing behind the table and staring at Nico (who was clearly watching other people to figure out what to do with his s'more). Percy had wandered away to socialize with Grover and Annabeth. Figuring everyone was old enough to handle their own dessert construction, Connor left the table. He was tempted to go sit beside Nico near the bonfire, but he made himself walk around. It was more important to find Travis.

Travis wasn't hiding. To Connor's surprise, he was sitting with Katie and a couple of her friends. He seemed to be getting along with them just fine, though Katie kept smirking skeptically at him, like she'd caught him in a lie. Connor debated going over. He didn't want to interfere with Travis' relationship progress. Watching him, Connor felt a stab of envy.

 _You have to hide your love,_ whispered that same voice. _He can be honest about his. He can get close to her while you keep trying to convince yourself to stay away._

Connor shook his head. He didn't want to think like that about his own brother. He wanted to be happy for him.

At that moment, Travis turned his head. He met Connor's eyes. A flicker of discomfort passed across his face and he turned away. Connor flinched. He wasn't welcome over there. Travis hadn't forgotten what happened earlier.

That was fine. Connor didn't need to cling to him. They were old enough to have separate social lives. Except this didn't feel like a natural separation. It felt like he was being warned away. Connor swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth and started walking around the bonfire.

He supposed it was his fault he wandered straight into a nest of Aphrodite kids. He wasn't really watching where he was going.

"Ooh! Connor Stoll!" A girl grabbed his arm. Her nails dug into his skin. "We were just talking about your brother."

 _Not me?_ Connor laughed good-naturedly, as if he wasn't being impaled as they spoke. "I hope you were saying good things about him."

"We usually don't." Drew Tanaka, holding one of the dining pavilion's magical cups. She'd dressed up for this. (Connor had to give her kudos for her look; she pulled off cut-off shorts rather well.)

"Hey, Drew. You're not still mad about the soulmate thing, are you?"

Drew smiled. It wasn't very friendly. "Water under the bridge. You're lucky that shirt you stuck gum to was one of my least favorites."

Connor thought back to the time he and Travis had thrown a golden mango into the Aphrodite cabin. He didn't want to go through that revenge again. Considering that had happened during Silena's reign, Connor suspected he could've been the victim of much worse.

"We were just saying that Travis and Katie look like a couple," a girl said. "Don't you think?"

"Yeah, actually, I do."

A ripple went through the group. Someone giggled. Connor wondered where David Park was. He'd rather be talking to him right now. He wanted to make absolutely sure the bond had left no effect on his feelings. There was no way he could ask Drew.

"Tell us, do you have the same taste in girls?" the girl holding his arm asked.

Connor could've told them that he was gay, but that would open a whole new can of worms. He settled for shrugging.

"Oh, I bet he does," Drew said. "They're practically twins. Boys like that end up marrying the same type of women. Or sisters."

The girl holding his arm gasped. "What about Miranda Gardiner? You two talk a lot, don't you? And she's a lot like Katie."

 _What?_ Percy had said something similar right before Connor told him he wasn't interested. Something about her having a crush on him, which couldn't be true. He glanced around, wondering if Miranda was around to hear this and refute it. She wasn't.

But Nico was. He was sitting farther back from the fire now, a good buffer between him and the other kids lounging around. He was definitely within earshot. Connor had to get away from here.

"Yeah! Didn't I hear a rumor she was into him?"

"They'd be so cute together," Drew said. "Travis can go out with Katie and you can date Miranda. Two sons of Hermes with two daughters of Demeter."

"Actually," Connor started to say, but he was cut off by another Aphrodite kid.

"You're so right," she said, wide-eyed. "And if you get married, you'd both be Stoll-Gardiners!"

Connor wanted to point out that Katie and Miranda spelled their surnames differently (and were not full-blooded siblings) but he found it hard to get a word in edgewise. The Aphrodite kids were on a roll.

Nico looked uncomfortable. He was spinning his skewer in a vaguely menacing way, like he was about to drive it through someone's hand. All the talk about dating was probably making his skin itch. Connor badly wanted to tell the Aphrodite kids that the only person he was interested in was the sullen kid in the aviator jacket, but he'd be exposing more than himself.

Connor swallowed. "Hey, slow down," he said. "You guys never asked me about any of this."

They ignored him.

"Their kids wouldn't be very cute."

"What are you talking about? They're not ugly or anything."

"Miranda wears _scrunchies_. She lets her hair air-dry."

"Plus they'd probably play in the dirt all the time."

 _I might as well be talking to a brick wall._ They were so wrapped up in debating the pros and cons of a Stoll/Gardiner union that they didn't notice Connor extricating himself from their circle. He was on his way back to the refreshment table when—speak of the devil—Miranda Gardiner stepped into his path.

"Where did you hide the marshmallows?"

"The what?"

"You heard me. We had ten bags of marshmallows left after the first round and now there are eight. Tell me where they are."

Connor put on a face of wide-eyed innocence. "Are you sure you didn't miscount?"

"I'm sure. Listen, you and your brother are literally the only ones with the guts to steal from their fellow campers. If you give them back and apologize, we won't be mad."

"I can't give them back if I don't have them." Connor held out his empty hands. "Search me if you want. Travis and I have nothing to do with it."

Miranda's eyes narrowed. "Then you won't have a problem with me checking your bunk."

"Go ahead. Do you need directions?"

She glared at him over her shoulder as she jogged toward the cabins. Connor watched her go with a touch of resentment. _There's no way she's got a crush on me. Why couldn't she have showed up when I needed her?_

* * *

"This is rare. I didn't think you'd come out of your tomb for a party."

If there was one person Nico had _not_ wanted to run into tonight, it was Drew Tanaka. After Connor had split, she and her minions had been on the hunt for a new plaything. She leaned over him, her hands on her knees. _Like I'm a little kid. She's barely older than me._

"I still don't get why my mom would come all this way for you," Drew said. "You never explained that part."

"It was a misunderstanding," Nico muttered, wishing she'd go away.

"A misunderstanding over what? I heard your big sister gave up on love. Did that have something to do with it?"

Nico scowled. He remembered the rage that struck him in his cabin. _Bianca._ It felt worse hearing Drew—who'd never met or seen her in person—talking about her.

"That had nothing to do with it," Nico said. "You have no right to bring her up."

Drew held up her hands. "Touchy. I'm just trying to get to the bottom of things."

"Well, don't."

"Listen," Drew said, lowering her voice. "My mother has never met _me_. The fact that she wasted her time on some ungrateful punk over a misunderstanding makes my skin crawl. Excuse me if I want to know the details."

For a second, Nico felt sorry for her. There were so many kids who had never met their godly parent. So many who had been left to fend for themselves. Nico envied them sometimes. Knowing your godly parent wasn't always the best. He supposed it wasn't their fault for wanting to be recognized.

"I can't help you," Nico said. "I don't know what was going through her head. She… she didn't tell me anything."

Over Drew's shoulder, he could see Miranda and Connor talking to each other. Miranda seemed irritated. Connor was working his usual fast-talking, smooth angle. Nico could tell just by watching him. He thought about what the Aphrodite girls' matchmaking talk.

Nico forgot about everything. So far the evening had been barely tolerable. Now it was insufferable. He was done with this. With being frustrated and longing and letting his hormones drive him insane.

 _I'm going to do it_ , he thought. _I'm going to tell him the truth._

His stomach swooped. It was a decision too big for his body. He closed his fist around the wooden skewer. He was tempted to snap it in half, just to remind himself that he was in control of his actions. Instead, Nico set it down, stood up, and left the fire. If he was going to do this, he needed a few seconds alone, in private.

* * *

The party started to wind down. Plenty of people still lingered around the fire, telling old camp stories, but others were drifting off, alone and in pairs, either farther down the beach or back towards the cabins. Connor didn't know what time it was.

Nico had disappeared somewhere. Connor hadn't seen him go. He might have gotten exhausted and left early. However, Connor couldn't stop thinking about what Nico must've overheard. It was flattering himself too much to imagine Nico being jealous. Even so, Connor hadn't wanted Nico to listen to that crap. It was embarrassing, plain and simple. How could the Aphrodite cabin—the children of the literal goddess of love—be so off the mark?

Connor made himself a s'more. He had the perfect technique for getting the outside of the marshmallow a golden brown. Travis liked to burn his. Connor would never understand it. He supposed he might as well start making a list of things he would never fully understand about his brother.

Katie and Travis were still sitting together, far away from Connor. They were closer than they had been at the start of the night. Connor thought he heard Katie laugh at something Travis said. He turned his eyes somewhere else. Looking at them felt like intruding.

Miranda was approaching him again. She seemed less annoyed. She hadn't found anything in his cabin. Connor grinned triumphantly.

"There you are," she said, sitting on the driftwood log beside him. "I guess you're innocent. Sorry."

"Apology accepted."

She snorted and glanced over at Travis and Katie. "They're getting along."

"Tell me about it."

They were silent for a few minutes. Miranda stared into the fire. Connor finished up another s'more. After a while, Connor couldn't stand it. He had to say something, before things got awkward.

"Hey, Miranda," he said, holding out an unroasted marshmallow, "want a s'more?"

"I think I'll be sick if I have anymore. But thanks anyway."

"Awesome." Connor speared it and held it over the flames. "What do you think about my brother dating your sister? Is it weird?"

"They're not dating yet," Miranda pointed out. She shrugged. "I don't have a problem with it. She'd be good for him."

"The Aphrodite cabin endorses it."

"Then I guess it's meant to be." Miranda sighed and swept her hair over her shoulder. "Sometimes all this relationship talk wears me out. It's like everyone is dating everyone else but me and I don't know if I'm okay with that or not."

"Hm." Connor blew on his marshmallow. Its corner had caught fire.

"You're still single, right?"

"Oh. Yeah." _Oh gods. Maybe the Aphrodite kids and Percy were right._ Connor looked at Miranda out of the corner of his eye. "Footloose and fancy free."

Miranda chuckled softly. "You're weird. But that's fine." She stood up and stretched. "I'm going to break down the table."

"Let me get it," Connor offered, slapping the top graham cracked on top of his s'more. "You helped put this whole thing together and you searched my bunk." He smiled. "Why don't you chill for a while?"

"Oh… okay. That's nice of you."

Connor left her to take care of the table. Most of it had been picked over. It would be an easy job. Yet when he got there, he just stood behind it, motionless. Melted chocolate was starting to run down his fingers. It was strange whenever Miranda was nice to him. It wasn't as if she never was, but after the gossip he'd heard, he felt uncomfortable. What if she _did_ have a crush on him? How was he supposed to find out if she did?

He wished… well, he wished he could tell her the truth. It would make everything easier. In a perfect world, Nico would be his boyfriend, and he and Travis would be getting along like usual, and Connor wouldn't have to feel this way: frustrated and lonely and anxious.

 _Fuck it,_ Connor thought. Keeping Nico at arm's length only made things worse. If he was really strong, he'd be able to hang out with him like normal. Connor shoved the rest of his s'more into his mouth and reached under the table for the bag of marshmallows he'd taped to the underside. He was going to find Nico.

* * *

It took a while to locate him. He wasn't on the beach. Connor figured out he wasn't in his cabin quickly enough. When no one answered his knock, he just pushed open the door. (Cabins had no locks, which was both a blessing and curse.) That turned out to be a wash, so he went looking around outside. Eventually, he spotted a dark shape stretched out on a patch of grass near the beach. He must've missed it completely his first time around. He crept up on it.

"What'cha doing?" Connor asked.

Nico sat up, surprised. "I thought you got in trouble for stealing marshmallows."

"I would've, if I hadn't been smart and hidden them in a super-secret location." Connor pulled the bag out from underneath his shirt. He liked the way Nico's eyes lit up. "Want one?"

"Sure."

Connor sat down next to Nico and ripped open the bag. He passed a couple over, then took some for himself. "Do you know how to play 'chubby bunny'?" he asked.

"No. What is that?"

"You put marshmallows in your mouth and say 'chubby bunny' and you keep adding marshmallows until you can't say it. Like this." Connor fitted a marshmallow into his cheek. "Chubby bunny. Your turn."

Nico was looking at him like he was insane, but he put a marshmallow in his mouth and said, "Chubby bunny" with a straight face.

They went back and forth a few more times. Nico actually started laughing once Connor had six marshmallows in. At that moment, it was the most beautiful sound in the universe. Connor almost choked when he tried to swallow them all.

"You're so gross," Nico said.

"Tell that to the guy who invented the game."

Nico shook his head. He fell back on the grass. His hair spread out behind his head in a dark halo. "After that, I don't think I'll be able to eat marshmallows for ten years."

"They're better on s'mores."

"Why are they called s'mores?"

"Because you always want 'some more' but Americans are lazy, so we shortened it."

"That was the first time I ever had them. S'mores."

"What did you think?"

"They were messy. Mine fell apart pretty fast." Beat. "But they were good. It took me a while to get the marshmallow part right. They're better when they're warm."

"You can say that again," Connor muttered. He lay down as well. The grass within the borders of Camp Half-Blood always smelled sweeter than the grass outside. It might have been Mr. D or the nymphs doing it. Or maybe it was the Demeter kids, making it grow better.

The night sky was perfectly clear, as always. The lack of light pollution made for prime stargazing opportunities. Connor could see other campers finding spots. Some were walking farther away, trying to get some privacy. That was near impossible. The handful of campers who were dating each other could barely get five minutes alone together. There was always someone hanging around—a satyr, another camper, a nymph—and soon enough everyone at camp knew your stupid pet names for your girlfriend.

"Which constellation is Zoe Nightshade?" Nico asked suddenly.

"I don't remember. Maybe it's that one." There was a certain cluster of stars that _could_ have formed the shape of a girl with a bow and arrow. Really, it was just a collection of dots. Connor wasn't bad at constellations, but sometimes he struggled to understand how the Ancient Greeks got a bear out of some random lines.

They lay there quietly for a few beats. Connor realized that he could fall asleep right here, he was so tired. He hadn't even known he was tired. It was a balmy night, with just enough breeze to keep it from being stifling. His eyelids drooped.

He heard Nico take a deep breath. Then, in a slightly shaky voice, he said, "Can I tell you something?"

"What kind of something?"

"Um… personal. You can't tell anyone else."

Connor's stomach did a flip. Not an excited one. More like a roller coaster loop-de-loop. A really fast, really rickety roller coaster. Nico was going to tell him he had a crush on someone else. He was going to ask Connor what to do. It would hurt.

 _But isn't this what I should be doing? I'm supposed to be helping him, not crushing on him. I'm the only gay guy he can talk to. Oh shit, what did I sign up for?_

He couldn't do it. He shouldn't be spending time alone with Nico in the first place. Connor sat up so fast it made his head spin. "I just remembered…" What did he remember? He picked at the grass as he tried to come up with something plausible.

Nico stared straight at him, disbelief written plainly across his face. "Did you forget to hide the other bag of marshmallows?"

"Yes," Connor said. He couldn't believe Nico had just offered him an excuse. "Yeah. I better go check, before Katie chews us out."

"Okay." Nico sighed. If Connor didn't know better, Nico sounded a little relieved. Maybe he'd changed his mind.

"I'll see you later. You can tell me about whatever it is, then." (Though Connor was hoping he'd forget by that point.) He wasn't strong enough. His feelings ran too deep.

Nico was still lying on the grass, watching Connor with dark, dark eyes, relaxed and honest. Connor wanted to kiss him _so badly._ He wanted to forget about all the excuses, to shuck off all the lying and dodging and lie down next to him again. He wanted to cup the back of Nico's neck in his hand so Connor could feel his hair in his hand.

"I can't."

Connor needed only a second to realize he'd said that out loud. Confusion rendered in Nico's eyes, but Connor didn't stick around to see where it went from there. He couldn't. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't.

* * *

 **i had to work in the "that's amore"/"that's a moray" joke. i had to.**


	7. Conflict Management

**university is so stressful u guise ;A; also i haven't felt as inspired lately. my brain keeps coming up with new ideas when i can't even finish my old projects *sigh* anyway, hope y'all like the new chapter~**

* * *

 _I got rejected_. The uncomfortable truth settled in Nico's heart and chafed there for the next few days. Connor had known what he was going to say and shut him down before Nico ruined their friendship forever. He'd had the right idea. Nico should've known better.

He concentrated on other things. Sword fighting. Climbing the lava wall. Archery, which he sucked at, but he did it to distract from thinking about Connor. They were back to avoiding each other. Nico was fine with that right now. At least he hadn't done anything embarrassing and cried about it.

 _Why can't I have a crush on someone who actually likes me?_ Maybe that was the nature of crushes. They were supposed to "crush" you. Nico had never heard of one actually working out, besides Percy and Annabeth. Though that wasn't really a crush so much as it was an approximately four year long build up to an inevitability.

Nico wandered around camp a lot, watching people. They usually didn't notice him. The younger kids were always full of energy. They thought everything was just so cool and exciting and for them, Camp Half-Blood had always been peaceful. Nico hoped they'd never know differently, but that was a lost cause. He'd been amazed, once.

The first night, Connor and Travis had taught him how to play poker, and Nico had proceeded to mop the floor with them. He remembered the moment they realized they were being hustled. Connor's poker face had slipped and Travis had burst out laughing, falling backwards.

"I give up!" he'd cried. "We can't beat him."

Connor's brow had furrowed. "I think I can."

"You can try," Nico had said. He'd fanned himself with his cards. "I told you I was good at games like this. But you didn't believe me."

"He might be one of ours," Travis had said with a grin.

Connor had stared at him for a long time. Nico hadn't known the significance of it back then. After a minute, Connor had said, "Nah. He's ours for now, but that'll probably change."

Sometimes Nico wished he was someone else's son. Maybe not Hermes's, but someone other than the Big Three. He envied how easy Connor and Travis had it. In fact, life would be easier if he'd died in the forties with his mom.

He was snapped violently out his thoughts by the sound of a shriek. Nico turned to look at the Aphrodite Cabin, where the noise was coming from. There were two girls outside, yelling at each other.

"I trusted you!" Lauren yelled. "I told you where it was, not that you could read it!"

"I didn't read your stupid diary!"

"Who else could it be? No one else knew I even _had_ a diary."

Ashley rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in exasperation. "Maybe one of the boys found it when they were straightening up. We share a cabin with a bunch of people. I can't believe you're accusing me. I'm your best friend!"

They were attracting a crowd. Nico wanted to walk away, but he was just as fascinated as everyone else. Cabin in-fighting was rare. Everyone wanted to see how this would go down.

"You _were_ my best friend. Until you read my diary and told everyone what was in it. Those were my personal thoughts."

"Ever think that maybe those personal thoughts were kind of bitchy?"

Lauren's mouth dropped open. "What did you call me?"

"You said that Colleen's hair looked like she cut it with a weed-whacker. She _cried_." Ashley put her hands on her hips. "It was mean. You've been getting meaner ever since you started hanging out with Drew. Is she your best friend now?"

"If Colleen doesn't want to get her feelings hurt, she could do something about her hair." Lauren was turning pink. Nico could tell she was trying to hang onto her dignity, but Ashley had struck a nerve. She flipped her own hair over one shoulder.

"I think Colleen's hair is cute," Ashely said. "You should apologize to her."

"I don't have to apologize for anything. _You're_ the one who should be saying sorry!"

Ashley punched Lauren in the nose. Lauren screamed and blood gushed over her lips. There was a collective gasp from the assembled demigods.

" _Sorry_ ," Ashley said.

What happened next was so fast that Nico almost missed it. Lauren hesitated for only a second before throwing herself at Ashley. She pushed her to the ground and delivered a hard blow to Ashley's jaw. Ashley tried to scratch Lauren while Lauren pulled Ashley's hair. They were both shrieking.

"What's going on here?" Drew demanded, charging forward. Someone must've told her what was going. " _Both of you stop!_ "

Drew's charmspeak had an immediate effect. The girls froze. Drew stormed over and separated them. Nico had never seen her so furious. It must have been humiliating for her, having to break up a fight between her half-sisters.

Ashley and Lauren were starting to cry. Drew was not handling them gently. She dragged them to their feet. Both tried to talk at once.

"Drew, she—!"

"I was just—!"

Drew gestured for them to stop. She looked around. The look in her eyes was enough to send some of the younger campers running. For the rest, she said, " _Nothing to see here. Go away._ "

Nico felt compelled to leave. He turned away from the cabins and walked in the opposite direction. Aphrodite kids didn't fight like that, especially not with Drew around to charmspeak them into submission. They definitely didn't do it so publicly.

He didn't have anywhere to go in particular, so he ended up on the beach. Nico had never been wary of the water growing up. He was from Venice. But after coming to camp and hearing about the promise between the Big Three and Percy's totally justified fear of flying, he'd started regarding it with extra caution. He'd flown under the radar for so long that he hadn't been targeted. As of right now, neither the plane ride to Paris or the dunk in the Seine had killed him. Nico had a feeling Zeus and Poseidon didn't even want to bother. Especially with how nicely everything had been wrapped up.

"I might as well already be dead," Nico muttered.

"What?"

Nico spun around. Percy. Of course. The water. Had he actually heard that? Judging from the seriously concerned look on his face, Nico guessed "yes."

"Um, I'm not… I'm not really going to…" Nico tried to say.

"Still, you shouldn't say stuff like that."

Nico's shoulders sagged. "I guess not."

"Are you okay?"

"No. When am I ever okay?"

Percy shrugged. "You haven't tried to kill me in a while, so I think you're making progress."

"Ha. I was never serious about that."

"Uh, yeah you were."

"Percy, I made you invincible. Don't be dumb."

"Shh," Percy said. "Not so loud. Is something actually wrong or are you being dramatic?"

Nico stared at the waves. "Both, I guess. I'm generally pissed off." No, not pissed off. Crushed. "It's not your problem."

"Okay. I was worried since there have been a lot of incidents. Did you see those girls from Cabin 10? That's the third fight a counselor's had to break up this week. Something weird is going on."

"People fight." Though it _was_ strange that they'd all happen in such a short time span. Nico thought of the sudden thunderstorm. "You think it's connected to that rain?"

"Maybe. I don't want to be paranoid. If it's nothing, I'll look like the half-blood who cried wolf. Though I don't have any other theories."

"You should probably report it anyway."

"The rest of the counselors are actually going to have a meeting later to talk about it. We're calling it 'conflict resolution.' You should come, even though…"

Connor would be there. "I'll pass. I'm the last person who should step in on other people's fights."

"Alright. It's at one, at the amphitheater, if you change your mind."

He left Nico at the beach, still staring at the ocean, wishing it'd just swallow him whole.

* * *

 _Nico isn't here,_ Connor thought. Almost every counselor had shown up at the amphitheater, except for Nico, and he guessed that was normal, but he couldn't help thinking it was his fault. They kept playing this game—trying to stay away, falling back into each other—and who knew when it was going to end. Meanwhile, Travis was sitting as far away from him as humanly possible. Connor was exhausted. Frustrated. _We can't always get what we want._

Annabeth stepped up first. "So," she said. "We need to decide what to do about all the infighting going on. It's getting out of hand."

"Just let them work it out," Clarisse said. "If they've got beef, they'll settle it."

Katie shook her head. "We can't do that. What if someone takes it too far? We should be defusing the situation, not ignoring it."

"I think we should find out what the source is," Percy said. "Doesn't anyone else think this is super weird?"

"Not everyone's gonna get along and sing kumbaya," Travis pointed out. He glanced at Connor. "Even if they're close friends. These kids don't have a lot of opportunities to walk away and clear their heads."

"Arguments are normal. These aren't arguments," Annabeth countered. "I'm with Percy on this one. It's all too concentrated. I've seen three friendships fall apart in the past two days. That's not a coincidence."

"And we had that storm," Percy said. "We've been doing headcounts and stuff, but what if that's not the problem?"

"Mr. D said something tried to get in," Connor said. "Maybe it actually managed to slip past the defenses. If it was powerful enough, it could've tricked Mr. D into thinking he kicked it out."

Annabeth frowned. "It would have to have power to match a god's."

"Then maybe it's a god."

"It wouldn't be an Olympian," Drew said. "They want to preserve camp. And there's no way a minor god could compete with one of the twelve."

The faces of several minor gods' children darkened. The counselor for Nike's cabin flipped Drew off without a second's thought. Connor wondered when Drew would learn to quit while she was ahead. Some of the other counselors looked displeased as well.

"If it's something we can actually fight, then there's something we can do," Clarisse said. "Until then, it's just a bunch of telling people to be nice. I think I'm good. Let me know if you need the Ares cabin for anything." With that, she got up and walked out of the amphitheater.

It took a while for someone to gather the courage to speak again. When they did, they asked, "Should we ask Mr. D if he's noticed anything weird? He'd know if something was lurking around camp."

The assembled counselors exchanged awkward glances. Some of the older ones knew from experience that it was useless to ask Mr. D for anything. He wasn't as bad as having Tantalus direct the camp, but it didn't make him any easier to deal with. He'd come through when they really needed him; it depended whether he saw this as a real emergency.

"Who wants to act as a representative?" Annabeth asked.

No one raised their hand.

"Let's play rock, paper, scissors for it," the Nike counselor suggested. "Loser has to talk to Mr. D."

"We're a democratic society," Travis said. "I say we should vote."

The Nike counselor stood up, hands on her hips. Her name was probably Victoria or something. Connor didn't remember. "Alright, I vote you and Connor play rock, paper, scissors to see which of you plays the messenger. You're sons of Hermes, right?"

 _Damn it._ Connor met Travis's eyes across the amphitheater. The other counselors were murmuring and nodding in agreement. They were good with anything, as long as they didn't have to do it. Connor sighed.

"I'll just go," he said. No use making this more awkward than it needed to be. Everyone had already noticed they weren't sitting together. Connor jogged down the steps, not looking at the others or his older brother.

Annabeth gave him a sympathetic look as he passed. Only she knew what other thoughts weighed on his mind.

* * *

Connor found Mr. D lounging on the Big House's porch. He was reading some book called _The Secret History_. Connor rarely saw Mr. D reading anything other than wine magazines.

"Hey, Mr. D," Connor said. "Good book?"

Mr. D grunted. Connor decided to take this as a yes.

"Anyway, have you noticed something weird going on around camp? There have been more fights this week than… ever. Some of the counselors were thinking we should tell you about it."

"Why?"

"Because someone could get hurt. The Ares cabin can do real damage when they're mad. And Percy has this feeling that it's not normal. Since you're in charge of the defenses around camp…"

"Peter tends to over-exaggerate," Mr. D said. He turned a page. "Nothing has gotten in or out of camp. You teenagers fight all the time. I don't see what the big deal is."

"Not _this_ much. This is best friends turning against each other stuff."

Mr. D used his finger as a bookmark. "What do you expect me to _do_ about it? All it sounds like is a couple of arguments between kids. It happens." Then he returned to reading.

Connor considered pressing, but thought better of it. He'd learned quickly that it was best not to get on Mr. D's nerves. The god looked like a lazy housecat, but if annoyed he would strike with the ferocity of a lion. No one had been turned into a dolphin or went mad while under Mr. D's care yet. Connor didn't want to be the first.

"Alright. Sorry for interrupting you."

Connor concealed his frustration until he was a safe distance from the Big House. "I don't even know why I bothered," he said to himself.

"Any luck?" Percy asked when he returned. A lot of the counselors had left. Judging by his tone, he hadn't expected good news.

"No. He doesn't think it's a problem."

Percy groaned. "Since when has anything _not_ been a problem?"

"Maybe he's right," Annabeth said, though she seemed uneasy. "Tensions rise. It _could_ be a coincidence."

"It's weird is all. I mean, if it was between cabins, that'd be normal."

Connor shrugged. "Mr. D said nothing has passed in or out of camp. He would know if someone snuck in to make the kids defect. I guess I was wrong."

"It was a decent theory," Annabeth said. "For now, let's focus on keeping the peace. I would really like it to be nothing."

"Same." Connor looked around. Travis had left without him. He noticed Katie and Miranda talking heatedly a few feet away. They kept shooting him suspicious looks. Connor didn't remember doing anything to draw their attention.

"We should mention it to Chiron," Percy said. "I don't know if he could do much, but at least he'd take us seriously."

"I wish some of the other counselors would take this seriously. Some of them don't remember…" Annabeth trailed off. "Is it just us? Are we paranoid?"

Connor shook his head. "We'll just have to wait and see, but I'd rather be paranoid than pretend everything's fine. Being paranoid is how some of us lived past middle school."

The meeting broke up in full. Annabeth and Percy wandered off to do their own thing. Any remaining counselors had duties to get back to. Connor wanted to go back to the cabin and sleep for ten hours. He didn't want to think anymore. He headed in that direction.

Connor noticed Miranda following him. _Please no, not now._ It was never a good time for Miranda to get on his case, but it was especially bad at this point in time. He decided he might as well let her catch up and say her piece.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Your campers have been sneaking over to the other cabins at night," she said. "I know you know about it, but you didn't say anything. Are you covering up for them?"

Connor groaned. "They're not planning a revolt. They just want to hang out with their friends. I've tried telling them, but it's Cabin 11. You can relax."

"You're not taking this seriously."

"Fucking hell, Miranda, are Travis and I your scapegoats for everything? I didn't realize you actually hated us. I'm doing my best, okay? Everyone here is trying. Do you know how many kids I've had to pull apart these past few days? Even Travis isn't speaking to me anymore!"

He hadn't meant to say that last bit out loud. Connor shut his mouth. He dropped onto the nearest cabin's front step. _Gods, what's my problem?_

"I'm sorry," Miranda said. "I didn't know."

Connor felt bad for snapping. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you. It's just that everything is falling apart."

Miranda sat down beside him. "I should've known. Some of the Demeter kids are getting on each other's nerves, too. The other day I yelled at Becca for no reason. She still hasn't forgiven me."

"Do you think it's supernatural, like Percy said?"

"I can't tell, but it feels wrong for everyone to suddenly be at each other's throats. Especially when it's kids who've been friends for years." She sighed and pushed her hand into her hair. "I don't even know why I thought you might be responsible just now. The thought just jumped into my head."

"I forgive you."

Miranda laughed. "Why isn't Travis speaking to you?"

"It's kind of my fault." Connor stared at his knees. "He didn't tell me he got into NYU and I got mad. It feels like we're drifting. I know it's normal, but still…"

"I understand. Maybe I don't, but I get where you're coming from. You've always been two different people. You're starting to become more aware of it is all. I think you'll make up eventually."

"That's really optimistic."

"You can't stay mad at each other forever."

"True, but he's not going to say sorry until I do, and I don't know how to apologize first. Our family is so messed up. No one ever really forgives each other. Look at our parents."

Miranda put a hand on his shoulder. "We're not our parents," she said. "And we don't have to argue like they do. Athena and Poseidon hate each other for some stupid reason, but their kids are dating. Lots of different cabins get along."

"Some of them also hate each other."

"They don't really. It's just rivalry."

Connor looked at her. "It's really too bad," he said.

"What is?"

"Nothing." _It would be easier if I liked her._ "I think we should be better friends."

Miranda smiled. "I don't think you mean that."

* * *

The meeting was probably over by now, but Nico wanted to know how it had gone. If he hadn't been a coward, he wouldn't have to show up late and ignorant. Now everyone was going to think he didn't care. Maybe they already thought that. Either way, it was important to find out whether Percy's fears were founded.

He wouldn't bother going to the amphitheater. They'd probably finished up there. It'd be quicker just to park himself outside of Percy's cabin and grill him. Not many campers were lingering outside their cabins because of the heat. Nico tugged on his collar. He couldn't wait for the sun to go down. But as he approached the ring, he saw something that made him pause.

Miranda and Connor were sitting in front of one of the cabins.

Nico couldn't move. It was like there were invisible hands around his ankles. Miranda's back was to him. She was leaning toward Connor, her hand on his shoulder. They were talking, but they were too far away and too quiet to hear. Connor looked upset. Nico had never seen him so distressed before. What happened?

Miranda rubbed Connor's arm. He smiled at her. Just a little, but it was a smile. The invisible hands latched onto Nico's throat. He couldn't breathe for a few seconds. The edges of his vision were tinged with red. Nico stumbled backwards, suddenly able to move again.

Connor looked up. He saw Nico. He was surprised. Shocked, even. He stood up and said, "Nico…"

Nico did the only thing he could: he glared and spun around. He walked from the cabin area as fast as he could, his stomach churning, his blood pounding in his ears. In the back of his mind, he knew he was being stupid, but the anger wasn't fading. The sting of jealousy was even stronger than before, when the Aphrodite girls had been gossiping about the two.

 _What's wrong with me?_ he thought. _I'm going insane._

* * *

 **the secret history is a book about a bunch of terrible people who try to commune w/ dionysus, kill someone in the process, then kill their friend, and is one of my favorite novels. /**


	8. Rupture

**exam season is fast approaching. ugh. btw i'm sorry about this chapter.  
**

* * *

Connor didn't understand. He looked down at Miranda, who seemed equally confused. Nico hadn't even come to the meeting earlier. Connor had suspected it was because of him, though he couldn't know for sure. Was he trying to do whatever he could to keep away?

"I have to—" Connor began. What did he have to do?

"Go talk to him," Miranda said. "He needs to know what we talked about earlier."

That was as good an excuse as any. Connor hurried after Nico. It wasn't hard to catch up—he had longer legs. Nico did make an attempt to get away, but it was pointless.

"Nico," Connor said. "You missed the meeting."

"I know."

"You should've come. Everyone needs to know how to handle what's going on. Otherwise we're all going to end up killing each other." Connor swallowed. "It's not just the other campers. I think Travis and I got affected by whatever—"

"Yeah, I _know_. I know something weird is happening. Get to the part where you figured out what it was. Unless you didn't," Nico said.

"We didn't," Connor admitted. "We don't have a way to fix it, but the point is to be aware. Like I was saying, I think it already got to me and Travis. We don't fight, Nico."

Nico halted. "Why don't you talk it over with your girlfriend? She looked like she had a better handle on it than me."

"Are you talking about Miranda? We're not dating. She's just being nice."

"Everyone thinks you should be though. The Aphrodite kids think you're meant to be." He turned to face Connor. "You'd make a cute couple. All that 'You're annoying but I find you weirdly charming' stuff is adorable."

"I'm not into Miranda."

"You seemed into her a minute ago. Are you sure you don't like girls? Could've fooled me."

Nico might as well have slapped him. Connor curled his hands into fists. "I don't get why you're so upset. Why does it bother you who people think I should date?"

"It doesn't bother me!" Nico snapped. "I don't care! But everybody has to make it my business. I'm tired of hearing all the stupid gossip that goes on here. It's making me rethink staying at camp."

"Are you sure?" Connor knew he should stop, but it was as if something was pushing him onward, a little wounded voice in his head that whispered for him to attack Nico where it hurt the most. "Are you sure you're not just jealous?"

The blood drained from Nico's face, then surged back, turning his cheeks bright pink. "Jealous? Of who?"

"Tell the truth, Nico. Are you mad that I haven't been paying attention to you recently?"

"I couldn't care less." But his eyes told a different story. Connor had found the nerve and hit it for all it was worth. Nico gritted his teeth. "A couple random field trips together and you think I can't last a day without you."

"Yeah right. _You're_ the one who came looking for _me_ when I stopped hanging out with you."

Nico's blush deepened. "Shut up."

"You wanna know what I think, Nico?" Connor was aware that he was about to jump off a cliff, but the little voice kept laughing and saying, _More. More. Rub some salt into that cut._ "I honestly don't understand you. You shut people out all the time—shut me out—and then you act like you have the right to be jealous when anyone else gets attention."

"Shut up," Nico repeated, more forcefully.

"You're so damn selfish that you won't even come to meetings because you're too busy sulking. When was the last time you gave a shit about anyone else's problems? No wonder you're tired all the time; it must take a lot of energy to be the most miserable person on the planet."

Nico's hands tightened into fists at his sides. "As if you didn't pretend to give a shit about _me_ just to prop up your ego."

"It's always 'me, me, me," Connor shot back. "What else do you want? Percy couldn't love you the way you wanted, so now you transferred to me? Is that it? You'll just cling to whoever's nice to you. Until they _hate_ you." _I don't hate him. I don't._

Connor had been in mortal danger before. He'd faced down his fair share of monsters in the heat of battle. He'd gotten on the bad side of not just the Ares cabin, but the Aphrodite cabin and—most terrifying of all—Annabeth Chase. They were nothing compared to an enraged Nico di Angelo.

The shadows lengthened around Nico, creating a pulsating black aura. The grass at his feet withered and died. Skeletal arms burst up from the ground surrounding Connor. They grabbed his legs. He cried out as the points of their fingers dug into his exposed calves. He felt blood seep into his socks. They were pulling him down. Connor's heart seized.

"Nico!"

Nico said nothing. His eyes seemed totally black, although it might have been Connor's imagination. The ground was crumbling beneath him. Skulls were pushing up from the earth, their empty sockets fixed on Connor, grinning as they dragged him into death. Someone was screaming. Connor realized it was him.

A crowd of orange t-shirts were racing toward them. Connor thought he spotted Travis. Chiron charged past the campers to Nico. He put his hands on Nico's shoulders and shook him, shouting something. Living arms reached for Connor, gripping him by the wrists and t-shirt.

 _This is what it feels like to be the rope in a game of tug-of-war,_ Connor thought.

Then, just as suddenly as they'd appeared, the shadows vanished. The skeletons crumbled to dust. Connor was still sunk up to the waist in the ground, but he was no longer being sucked in. Someone hooked him under the armpits and hauled him out. It was Clarisse.

"What the hell happened here, Stoll?" she demanded.

Out of the corner of his eye, Connor watched Nico collapse. A girl from the Apollo cabin and, of all people, Annabeth rushed to catch him.

"Are you okay?" It was Travis. He looked his younger brother up and down. "You're bleeding. We should get you some Band-Aids."

They were carrying Nico up to the Big House. Connor suspected he would be called up there soon enough. His throat was raw from screaming. He didn't know if he could speak.

Percy pushed his way to the front of the crowd. "What did you _do_?" he asked, wide-eyed. "The last time Nico went ballistic like that was…" He trailed off. Bianca. He didn't have to say it.

Connor shook his head. "We were arguing. It was stupid. I…"

"Come on." Travis put an arm around him. "You can explain later. Right now, we gotta get you patched up." He raised his voice. "Nothing to see here! Move along!"

It took a frightening bellow from Clarisse to get the younger campers to scatter. Travis led Connor back to the Hermes cabin and dug out the first aid kit. There were punctures in Connor's legs from where the skeletons had grabbed him. The rubbing alcohol stung, but barely.

"Is this a truce?" Connor asked. His voice was raspy.

Travis didn't look up. "When I saw what was happening, I forgot that we're not speaking to each other."

Connor fell silent. He watched Travis dress his leg. He wanted more than some antiseptic and bandages. _I want my brother back._ Connor wished he could spill his thoughts. He wished he could say, "I pretty much told Nico that he was unlovable, which is the stupidest lie I've ever told because I care about him more than I want to admit. I'm afraid we'll never be friends again."

Travis finished. He stood up. "You better get changed. You're covered in mud, dude."

Connor tried to smile. His muscles were too worn out to make it work.

* * *

Sometimes, when Nico woke up, he would forget who and where he was. This was not one of those times. He knew what he'd done. The wave of shame that washed over him was so intense that he wanted to call back the skeletons and have them bury him forever.

He was lying on a couch in the Big House. Someone had put a pillow under his head. He could hear voices in the next room. Chiron and Mr. D were arguing, probably about him. Nico could imagine how that conversation was going. Mr. D would want to turn him into a dolphin and set him free into Long Island sound. Nico wasn't super opposed to the idea. It would be a welcome vacation.

An Apollo camper was cutting open a pomegranate at the coffee table. She glanced at him and said, "You scared a lot of people back there, and I'm not just talking about your freaky death show."

"Sorry?" Nico said. He sat up. His head throbbed.

"Here." The girl passed him a glass of water. "You should be more careful about controlling your powers. One day you might exceed your limits."

Nico drank the water and ate the pomegranate. He hoped the Apollo girl wasn't subtly making fun of him with her fruit choice.

"Is Connor alright?" he asked, afraid of the answer.

"A little scratched up but he'll survive. I'd be more worried about what's going to happen to you. You're lucky the harpies didn't break up that fight, otherwise you'd both be under medical supervision. As it is, Chiron and Mr. D are debating on how to punish you, but they're waiting until they get testimony from you and Stoll."

Nico swallowed. How was he supposed to explain what they'd been fighting about?

 _You'll just cling to whoever's nice to you. Until they hate you._ Nico wasn't sure whether the pain he was feeling was physical or all in his head. He'd expected to hear that from anyone but Connor. _Is that what he really thinks of me? Was it all a joke then? Being my friend?_

"Nico." Chiron, in wheelchair form, rolled into the room. "We're ready for you. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Nico lied.

He followed Chiron into the game room. It had been totally cleared out except for Chiron, Mr. D, Nico, and Connor, who was sitting at the meeting table, his hands folded in front of him. He was a far cry from his usual, cheerful self. Nico wouldn't have recognized him. He took a seat on the other side of the table, farther away from Connor.

"Now," Mr. D said. "You've got five minutes to convince me not to toss the both of you into the ocean for a week and see how you fare. Don't think I won't do it."

"Stop trying to scare them," Chiron said. "I think they've both been frightened enough."

Mr. D grumbled something under his breath and popped the tab on his Diet Coke.

"Connor, do you think you can tell me what happened?" Chiron continued, his voice gentle, but firm.

Connor stared at his hands. Nico held his breath. What would he say? Would he tell the truth? Nico was prepared to cut him off just in case.

"It was just a dumb argument," Connor said.

"A dumb argument that almost got you killed. Connor, there's no need to be evasive. The sooner you tell us what went wrong, the sooner we can fix whatever problem you two have."

Nico and Connor's eyes met across the table. Nico couldn't read Connor's expression. _He must hate me. If he didn't before, he does now. I went too far. This always happens. This is why I can't make friends._

"I've been really tense lately." Connor looked down at the table again. "I was mad at Travis and I took it out on Nico. Then he got angry back."

Chiron turned to Nico. "Well?" he said. "Is that true?"

Nico nodded. "Things got… personal," he added.

"How so?"

"He brought up Bianca."

Connor glanced at him again, revealing nothing. Nico chose to focus somewhere else.

"I think your best course of action right now," Chiron suggested, "is to apologize. Shake hands and make up. Clearly this was a case of things escalating out of control. If it happens again, I'll give you a punishment. For now, I'd like to see a little peace." He nodded at them. "Go on."

Nico ducked his head. "Sorry."

"You have to say it like you mean it. That means eye contact."

Nico forced himself to look Connor straight on. "I'm sorry," he said. "I let my anger get the better of me and you got hurt. I won't let it happen again."

"Same," Connor said. Then, when Chiron narrowed his eyes at him, he added, "I said things that I didn't mean just to hurt you. I'm sorry, Nico. I take it all back."

Did he mean it or was he acting for Chiron and Mr. D? Nico couldn't be sure. He'd seen Connor's lies in action. He knew how well the younger Stoll could wear a role.

"Now shake and move on."

They shook hands. It was wrong, but Nico savored the small touch. Gods, when had he started missing physical contact like this? He almost wanted to hold on a little longer but forced his hand back to his side. With that taken care of, they were dismissed.

Connor left first. Nico followed him. They hadn't really talked it over yet. The thought that Connor really hated him, really wanted him gone, clung to him like cobwebs. He jogged to catch up.

"Connor?"

He stopped and turned around. At least his expression didn't look angry. If Nico had to place it, he'd say it was sad. The dead had grabbed Connor above his high-tops. Nico winced at the bruises that wrapped around Connor's calf. He was responsible for that.

"Did… did you mean it?" Nico asked.

"I apologized for real."

"No, I meant the stuff you said before."

Connor stared at him. Nico's skin prickled under his gaze. He wondered if Connor knew the answer to that question. "I said it was just to make you hurt. No, I didn't mean it."

"Yeah, but," Nico said, gathering his courage, "it's true. Isn't it? I don't have any friends except for you, Percy, and Annabeth and maybe I do—"

"No. Look, I barely know where half that stuff came from. You started yelling at me about Miranda and it was so insulting because I actually…" He stopped and scrubbed his hands violently through his hair. "I can't. I can't talk right now. I need to cool off for a second."

 _He actually…what?_ Nico's thoughts bounced around in his head. He wanted to make Connor finish that sentence, but he held his tongue. They were both worn out from the earlier exchange. Connor was becoming less coherent by the second.

"Okay. I'm sorry for what I did, Connor."

"Me too."

* * *

Percy cornered Nico outside his cabin. "What happened between you and Connor earlier? I thought you guys were friendly. You haven't had a freak-out like that since… since your powers first showed up."

"I don't know. It was like a switch went off in my head. I think I blacked out for a few seconds."

"This is getting serious." Percy frowned. "What did it feel like, when you started arguing?"

"Um…" Nico debated how much to share. He couldn't tell Percy what they'd actually been fighting about. He tried to be as general as possible. "Connor was talking to me and it was normal at first, but after a minute, he started to annoy me. Really annoy me."

"For no reason."

"I guess. He was complaining about his stupid fight with Travis."

"He had a fight with _Travis_?" Percy's eyes went wide. "This really isn't normal. Earlier, we were kicking around the same idea you had—that something got in when the defenses went down. We asked Mr. D and he didn't think it was anything serious."

"I don't think we can trust Mr. D," Nico said.

"Maybe not." Percy thought for a second. "I'm gonna check something out. We'll get back to this later. For now, just… you know. Try to stay calm. Take deep breaths."

Nico would've been offended any other day, but after nearly killing Connor, it sounded like good advice. "Thanks. I'll do that."

He watched Percy go. Nico had a talent for hurting people he cared about. Bianca, Percy, Connor… It'd be safer for everyone if he left. At least until this blew over. The only thing stopping him was the fact that Connor still owed him an explanation. Nico owed him one as well, but he'd rather run than confront those feelings again. He couldn't bear to confess everything to Connor and be rejected outright.

He had to leave. That was the best solution. Before whatever it was caught up with him again.

* * *

"Annabeth, did it hurt this much before you and Percy got together?"

"Sometimes."

"I like him," Connor said, "so much."

"I know. I'm really sorry."

Connor shrugged. He was glad Cabin 6 was empty for the time being. Annabeth's half-siblings were off enjoying the fresh air and training. Connor lay on Annabeth's bunk while she sat at the end, a book of architectural sketches open on her lap.

"Maybe you need to let him go," she suggested.

"Believe me, I'm trying. You of all people should know it's harder than that."

Annabeth tapped her pencil against her lips. "I've been thinking," she said. "You said that it felt like something was pushing you to fight him, to make things worse. Was it an actual voice or just an urge?"

"I'm not sure. It felt like me, and that's the scariest thing about it. I didn't even question it, even with everything that's been going on lately."

"We have a lot of enemies who'd like to see camp tear itself apart from the inside."

"You think that's what they're after? Makes sense. If things keep going like _that_ then we'll probably all kill each other." Connor drummed his fingers on his stomach. "You know what it reminds me of? This one time, Travis and I threw a golden mango into the Aphrodite cabin. We wrote 'for the hottest' on it and everyone started fighting over it—"

"Connor." Annabeth had sat up ramrod straight. "That's it."

"What's it?"

"Your stupid prank. It's based on the Apple of Discord."

"I know. We were talking about how the Trojan War started and—"

She cut him off again, tossing the sketchbook aside. "Don't you get it? Who was it who brought the apple to Athena, Aphrodite, and Hera?"

"Um." Connor thought back. "I actually don't remember."

"Eris. The goddess of discord, who wasn't invited to the party. Think about it. Everyone's been fighting and now it's escalating to the point where someone—you—almost died."

Realization smacked Connor in the face. "Tearing camp apart from the inside," he whispered.

"You were right." Annabeth sprang off the bunk. "I can't believe you were _right_. It's a goddess. We have to tell the others."

Connor sat up. "We don't have proof, though."

"I think we have enough evidence to make our case."

"Who are we going to tell? Mr. D? Chiron?"

Annabeth shrugged. "Let's start with the other counselors. Then we'll figure out what to do from there."


	9. Admission

**exam week starts on monday. yikes.**

* * *

"There's no way."

"You've gotta be joking. A goddess?"

"If it _is_ her, then what do we even do?"

Connor had been expecting this. Annabeth hadn't even managed to get all the counselors to listen to her. There were even less than there'd been at the amphitheater earlier that day. At least Travis was here. So were Katie and Miranda. And Clarisse, of all people.

"We stopped the father of the gods," she said. "We can stop a minor goddess."

"But we're not even sure it's her doing," Victoria(?) said. "Annabeth makes a good point, but it's all conjecture."

"It's the strongest lead we've got so far." Miranda stood up. "We can be more conscious of the threat now and take extra measures to prevent whatever's changing us. It looks like people can snap out of the influence, so it's not unbeatable."

Katie raised her hand. "There are certain plants that can promote calm. If the Demeter cabin puts together little talismans, that might slow things down long enough to get to attack the source. It'll keep us from getting worked up."

Clarisse rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything.

"That's a good idea," Travis said, smiling at Katie.

Connor fought the urge to roll his eyes as well. They hadn't formally made up yet, but at least they weren't glaring at each other. Connor rubbed the Band-Aids on his ankles. They still ached. Again, Nico was nowhere to be found. Again, Connor was sure it was his fault.

"We'll talk to Chiron, too," Percy suggested. "Now that we have a better idea of what's up, he might have an idea of what to do."

"Do you think she's here? Or did she plant something in camp and get out?"

"We don't know yet," Annabeth said. "We should sweep the camp grounds for anything unusual. Or any _one_ unusual."

Clarisse got to her feet. "Let's start that part right now. If blondie's right, then we shouldn't waste time sitting around. And if it's not, then we prove her wrong. I'll get the rest of Cabin 5 involved."

"Be careful. We don't know exactly what we're dealing with yet," Annabeth warned.

"I got you. Anyone else who wants to join us can. We'll start by the woods."

"We can start making the calm bags," Katie offered. She nodded at Miranda. "If the rest of our cabin gets in on it, we might be finished by tomorrow morning."

Miranda frowned. "I have to grow more lavender."

Slowly, the rest of the counselors filtered out. They all offered to help in some way, either searching the grounds or agreeing to talk to their campers about what had been going on. Connor tried to think of something else he could do besides that. He didn't have any skills that would directly contribute.

"I'm going to help look around," Travis said. "Connor, you should rest. You almost died today."

"It wasn't that serious," Connor insisted, but he had to admit he wasn't feeling so hot. Not just because he nearly got dragged straight into the Underworld. He didn't want to be lying around while everyone else was working, though.

"I agree with Travis," Annabeth said. She lowered her voice and added, "You're kind of emotionally unstable right now. It'd be better if you sit out for bit."

Fair point. He might be more susceptible to the discord. Connor shut up and went back to Cabin 11. He hoped Nico was also taking the time to calm down somewhere. Connor was more afraid for him than of him. He'd been manipulated in the past, although now he should be older and wiser.

 _I should check on him._ Connor hesitated outside the cabin. No, that'd be a terrible idea. He needed to wait until things settled down. They had time to talk later.

* * *

Sundown. The shadows were deepening. Nico could go. It would take nothing at all, just a bit of shadow travel beyond Camp Half-Blood's property line. Being a demigod out in the open world was more dangerous, but he could always go back to the Underworld. He could see his father.

 _Coward,_ he thought. _You're just going to stick your head in the sand while everyone else deals with it head on?_

There had been a stir earlier. Suddenly everyone in camp was talking and running around, all serious. Nico wondered if something had happened. No one told him; it didn't seem like they had time to pause. He hoped no one else had gotten hurt.

Was Connor okay? He'd looked normal(ish) earlier. Connor had had contact with the dead before, but not like that. Nico hoped there were no other, invisible injuries that had gone unnoticed. He tried to imagine what they'd say to each other. Nico thought of a dozen different scenarios and each of them felt impossible. And he had no idea what Connor was really thinking, what he'd say.

Nico knew he should leave. Then he could forget about Connor. Stop caring so damn much. Connor would forget about him. He had tons of other, better friends. Ones who didn't hurt him. It might make him upset at first, but after a while, he'd get over it. Nico was sure.

He packed his meager belongings into a duffel bag. He included the card binder—it would go into the trash at a later date. For now, he buried it underneath a couple different black shirts. As he stared at his poorly folded clothes, packed into the bottom of the bag, a lump started to creep up his throat.

Why did everything have to fall apart? He thought it'd been going well. Finally. But of course, it wasn't. Children of the gods don't get happy endings. They just get grace periods until the next terrible thing comes along. Hades's children—or rather child—certainly weren't allowed to just be teenagers. They weren't allowed to have friends and crushes and fun, lazy summers.

Nico wiped his eyes and his fingers came away dry. Good. He hadn't broken down yet. He swallowed and zipped the duffel shut. _This is a camp for heroes_ , he thought. _Even if I can't do the heroic thing, I can do the good thing. Right?_

The hustle and bustle was still going on, but it had moved to the distance. No one was loitering around the cabins. Nico slung the duffel's strap over his shoulder and slipped out the front door of his cabin. He decided to head towards Thalia's pine tree (long after she'd left it, it was still hers). Once he was close to the edge of the barrier, he'd phase through the shadows to the other side.

Nico let himself look at what he was leaving behind. There were some things he wouldn't miss. He had no connection the to forge or the stables. No fond memories of the volleyball court or the arena. But he'd miss the bungled productions of the Camp Half-Blood Players, and the mess hall, and the smell of salt water from Long Island sound. He'd missed it before. Could he handle a second time?

He passed the lake. The last fingers of sunlight were stretched across its surface. Nico remembered the sound of everyone laughing and splashing just a few days earlier. He walked over to the dock, then to the end of it. He should have joined in that day. When he'd shoved Connor into the water, he should've jumped in after him and had fun. Just for a few minutes.

The boards creaked behind him. Nico stiffened and whipped around. At first, he thought he was imagining it, because the timing was too perfect (or terrible). Connor had caught up to him. Somehow. He looked surprised to see Nico here, too.

"What are you doing?" Connor asked.

"I was…" Nico realized Connor could clearly see his packed duffel bag. It wasn't like he could lie about it. "I was leaving. What are _you_ doing here?"

"Honestly I was coming to chill by the lake. What do you mean you're leaving? You're not going to see this through? We finally figured out what's causing—"

"That doesn't matter. It's better if I take myself out of it. One less volatile demigod to deal with."

"Nico, we need all the help we can get. It's Eris. _A goddess_."

Nico felt a chill. He was familiar with the goddess of discord, or stories about her at least. She was the one making everyone go crazy? Well, that was her job. It wasn't a bad theory, if it was true.

"So?" Nico said. "How am I supposed to help? My temper is a liability."

"Everyone's working on ways to control that. The Demeter cabin is going to put together little herb bags that are supposed to calm people down."

Nico frowned.

"Okay, it sounds weak-sauce, but it's all we've got. You're not going to solve anything by running away."

"I'm going to solve the problem of almost killing my friends."

"And hang everyone else out to dry? It's not your problem anymore?"

"It is my problem! So, I get to decide how to fix it. Not you." Nico could feel the blood rushing to his ears. _Calm down,_ he told himself. _Don't escalate._ "Quit trying to drag me back, okay? Let me go."

"Nico, you can't just give up."

"And quit trying to counsel me, too."

Connor huffed. He raked his fingers through his hair. Then he looked up, his jaw set. "No."

"N-no?" Nico repeated incredulously.

"I'm not letting you leave. It's against the rules."

"Since when do you care about the rules?"

"Look, I lost you once and it's not happening again. I should've tried harder back then. So, tell me what I need to do to make you stay at camp."

Nico shook his head. "That had nothing to do with you."

"I know." Connor's voice was strained. "In the grand scheme of things, I know I don't matter that much. Not as much as some people. Not enough for you to feel at home here. We all let you down. I'm changing that."

And gods it hurt to hear Connor's voice right now and see the look on his face. Nico didn't know how to respond. The lump was back in his throat. _You matter enough. I was dumb back then and I didn't know how many people actually cared about me._ He was torn. His heart wanted to stay with Connor. Even when logic said it'd be better if they never saw each other again.

As hard as he'd tried to make it work, the room in Hades's palace in the Underworld wasn't home. It wasn't a place that could be lived in. Cold and empty. No amount of books, posters, and furniture Nico put in it would change that. No one he loved lived there. Not even Bianca anymore. He'd started smiling here at camp. It had been warm.

Nico let the duffel bag's strap slide off his shoulder. The bag dropped to the dock with a thump. Connor's expression didn't change. Neither of them moved.

"I'm ready," Connor said softly. "To talk. If you're okay with that?"

Nico looked at him. Connor wouldn't meet his eyes. "I'll be in my cabin," Nico said. "Come over whenever."

"Thanks." He said it like a sigh. Then he walked away.

Nico's chest tightened in anticipation.

* * *

Connor hadn't been inside the Hades cabin in ages. He'd forgotten how weird it was. Even so, Nico's presence normalized the coffin beds. Neither of them sat down. There was too much between them to relax.

"There's a lot I need to say sorry for," Connor began. "Not just earlier but kind of this whole time. Everything's been so awkward and it's my fault."

"How?"

"I think it comes down to not knowing how to treat you. I'm scared of getting too rough, but I hate acting like you're on the verge of a breakdown, because it's not true. Avoiding you was the wrong thing to do, but I seriously thought it would fix things. That it was better for us to not be around each other."

"You treat me fine. Like a normal person." Nico played with the hem of his shirt. "It's not your fault I'm screwed up. No one can fix that except me. You shouldn't feel bad about it."

It took Connor a long time to respond. He needed to make every word count.

"I'm not… a healer." Connor looked at his hands. "I can't fix you. I don't _want_ to. Whatever's cracked or broken or whatever makes you, _you_. That's who…"

"Stop trailing off like that. You're making me sick."

Connor swallowed. "I'm just really nervous."

" _You're_ nervous? Just say what you're going to say."

"Alright. That's who I care about. That Nico." He wasn't used to being this honest. Somehow, Nico always brought out that side of him. Connor had never felt so vulnerable as when he was with him. "It's scary saying that, because I'm afraid you'll hate me. I said and did a lot of things that made you upset and—I mean, I'm not trying to stereotype—but Hades kids are known for holding grudges. You probably wouldn't forgive me. I deserve it, I guess."

Nico stared at him for what felt like an eternity. "I don't… I don't hate you. I thought we already went over this."

"We did. I just… I have this problem. I don't know if it's a Connor Stoll thing or a Hermes thing, but even when I've got something amazing, I end up wanting more. Do you ever feel like that?"

"Everyone gets that way. People are greedy." Nico grasped the front of his t-shirt. "So what you're trying to say is that you want something more definitive than, 'I don't hate you.'"

Connor nodded. He was terrified of what came next. He remembered standing under the lights of Notre Dame, ready to tell Nico how he felt. This moment was so similar to that one he was almost experiencing déjà vu.

"I think the truth is… I actually do like you. A lot."

It felt like seeing the sun come up over the horizon when you thought there were a few more hours of darkness left. Connor let the words go through him and wrap around him. He rolled them over in his head a few times.

Nico was turning pink. "Please say something," he choked out.

"I like you, too," said Connor's mouth, completely independent from his brain. "That's… what I was trying to say just now."

"I _mean_ ," Nico said, forging ahead even though he looked like he was going to faint, "that I like you more than a friend. Do you get it?"

"I know what you meant. I…" Connor paused as a hysterical laugh escaped his lips. He put his hands over his mouth. This was terrifying and he couldn't stop grinning. The words came out in a stage whisper. "I've had a crush on you since we came back from Paris."

Connor watched as Nico's blush deepened. He was still twisting his hands nervously in his shirt, his mouth open but mute. Then his teeth clamped shut and he grabbed a pillow off the nearest coffin bed and threw it at Connor. It hit him in the face with a soft _paff!_

"And you didn't say anything?" Nico picked up a second pillow and tossed that one, too. Connor dodged. "You knew the whole time but you didn't bother putting me out of my misery!"

Connor put up his arms as a shield, although it looked like Nico had run out of things to throw. "It's not like I could've just told you," he said. "I didn't know you, um, thought about me that way."

"Really? I swear to the gods I thought I couldn't be more obvious. It felt like everyone could tell just by looking." He hadn't gotten any less pink. "I was sure you knew and that's why… you said the things you said."

"Believe me, I didn't," Connor said. "I hoped. I mean, I didn't want it to be like that. You know I lied just to make you angry."

Nico's fists slowly uncurled. "If you'd just told me…"

"I almost said something, before we left. But it was too soon after… Eros. I thought the timing was bad and it wasn't like it got any better once we came back."

"The timing's never going to be good," Nico said. "We're half-bloods."

"It wasn't just that." Connor swallowed. Suddenly he'd forgotten how to talk. When he'd thought of how he was going to tell Nico how he felt, he'd never counted on Nico returning those feelings. Now he was lost, his head full of words with no way to string them together.

Nico lowered his head. "I tried everything. Avoiding you didn't work and whenever you were around it was too confusing. This stupid crush was supposed to go away on its own."

It was quiet in the cabin. The silence felt alive, like a tiger in the corner, waiting to strike. Connor didn't want to fight again. Peace was too fragile right now. He knew he should explain himself. Nico deserved to know why it had taken this long. Except it was all so complicated and Connor was tired.

Connor held out his hand. "Hey," he said. "It's okay. We know now."

Nico looked at the offered hand. "You were telling the truth just now. You weren't lying to try to make me feel better, were you?"

"I meant everything I said. I like you, Nico. Might even…" Connor trailed off. He shouldn't go there, not now. "It really hurt, telling you I didn't care, because I do. That's why I didn't say it to you in Paris. It would've been wrong."

Nico placed his hand in Connor's and took a few steps to close the gap between them. He meshed their fingers together. Connor could feel his pulse—it was racing. No surprise there; Connor was dizzy. If Nico let go of him right now he might drop like he'd been hit.

"I guess there was no way you could've known," Nico muttered. "It took me forever to even admit you were my friend. You didn't have anything to go on."

"I was happy being your friend."

"And you're not now?"

Connor swallowed. He guessed he still was. Granted he'd been miserable lately, but that was because of Eris interfering. He'd done his best to try and keep their relationship uncomplicated. A friend was exactly what he _should_ be. Except his stupid feelings had gotten in the way and, apparently, so had Nico's.

"Look," Nico said. "Can we just…?"

Connor waited for Nico to finish his thought, but he'd lost his nerve. His heartbeat hadn't calmed down at all. Connor didn't know what he wanted Nico to say. _Can we just see where this goes? Can we just forget this ever happened?_

In the end, Nico didn't say anything. He took a deep breath and leaned forward. His free hand pushed Connor's head down to where he could reach it. Connor felt Nico's breath fluttering against his cheek. A second later, Nico placed a cautious kiss at the corner of his mouth. He pulled back, shaking slightly and very red.

"Sorry," he said. He hadn't let go of Connor's neck yet. And their hands were still clasped.

Connor shook his head. The spot where Nico had kissed him was warm. He wanted more and was scared that he wanted more. It was like he'd just been handed an incredibly valuable piece of artwork. Something the artist had worked hard on, something with their soul in it. And Connor was an art thief.

He squeezed Nico's hand to distract himself from his nerves. "Can I kiss you back?"

Nico nodded and shut his eyes. He stood perfectly still as Connor kissed him on the mouth, lips closed but soft. Connor tentatively brushed his fingers along the line of Nico's jaw. He followed it into his hair. Suddenly it wasn't just one kiss anymore, but several, all delicate and careful and really everything that Connor wanted and Nico deserved.

When Connor finally managed to wrench himself away, he said, "I probably shouldn't do that."

Nico's brow furrowed. "Why not?"

"It's complicated."

Nico let go of his hand. He walked back to his bed and sat down, resting his elbows on his knees. Connor wondered if he'd annoyed him again. Nico didn't seem to have a problem when Connor sat down next to him and he hadn't snapped at him, so Connor guessed he wasn't that irritated.

Eventually, Nico said, "Is it because of Eris or…?"

"That's one of the reasons. Another is because I think it'll be hard to keep this a secret from everyone else. And that's what you want, right?"

Nico hummed. He pressed his hand against his mouth. Connor had to endure another minute of silence before Nico spoke again. "It doesn't have to be a secret from everyone. There are a couple people I could trust."

 _Percy and Annabeth,_ Connor thought. He wondered if he should tell Travis about this. They hadn't officially made up yet. A part of him was worried Travis would tell him not to bother with Nico in the first place. But how could he not tell Travis, "Hey, Nico di Angelo kissed me and you were right about me being in love with him."

"I want to be your boyfriend," Connor said, "but I know it's not that easy. We'd only see each other at camp. And everyone knows everything here. I'm willing to play it by ear for now."

"You'd be okay with that?"

Connor nodded. He would do it for Nico.

Nico hugged him. Connor wanted to dissolve into it. He wanted to stay here, like this, for as long as Nico would allow him. He buried his face in Nico's shoulder. _Gods, I want this. I want him. We can't keep each other._

"Thank you," Nico whispered.

Connor leaned back. "I have to go back, but I'll see you tomorrow?"

Nico nodded. He kissed Connor's mouth one last time. He was braver now, more relaxed. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

 **holy shit y'all. years... years of writing just to get to this one scene...**


	10. Want

**right now i have so much free time that i don't want to write. i'll say this for exam week, i've never been more inspired and motivated. (un)fortunately, i will never experience that again, hahahaha!**

* * *

It took what felt like ten years for Nico to sleep that night. He kept rolling from his side onto his back, then onto his side again. The same thought echoed in his head: _I kissed Connor Stoll._ With reverb. He replayed the whole scene several times, his hand over his mouth, his face burning with embarrassment. _I kissed Connor Stoll._

He was trying really hard not to scream. Just… full on scream. Not a happy scream. More anxious and mortified. _I told Connor Stoll I liked him and then I kissed him. And I enjoyed it?_ Nico turned his face into his pillow in a half-hearted attempt to smother himself. _He said he liked me back. He said he wanted to be my—_ He couldn't even think the word. Nico di Angelo with a… nope. Not possible.

Nico had to have hallucinated the whole thing. He was under a lot of stress and his romantic fantasies had extended to his waking hours. He squeezed his eyes shut. Still, _I kissed Connor Stoll_ continued on replay until sweet unconsciousness took over. When he woke up for breakfast, he was painfully aware that he hadn't slept enough. It took everything to drag himself out of bed.

He was one of the last trailing up to the dining pavilion. A lot of the other campers looked half dead. Nico wondered how late they'd been up last night. Guilt seeped into his bones. He could've been helping as well, if he hadn't been so wrapped around the axel with his personal drama.

Katie Gardener startled him by jogging up, bright and energized, even though she clearly hadn't slept at all. "Nico!" she said. "I wanted to give this to you."

She pressed a small brown sachet into his hand. Nico vaguely remembered Connor talking about calming herb bags. He lifted it experimentally to his nose. It smelled nice. He couldn't distinguish individual plants, but it reminded him of scented candles.

"Thanks," he said.

"You can wear it around your neck," Katie said. She pointed to the string around the top. "Did someone fill you in on the meeting?"

"Oh, um. Yeah. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's not a problem. You weren't the only one. Besides, you'd had a rough experience." She patted his shoulder. "We're still working on permanent solutions. Anyway, I'll leave you in peace. See ya around."

She jogged off toward other campers, probably to give them the little bags, too. Nico hung his around his neck and tucked it into his shirt. He hoped it would work. It was strange, wearing something with living energy. It was the complete opposite of his father's power.

Nico didn't see Connor until he was almost finished with breakfast. Connor rushed in ten minutes late, squeezing himself between a pair of younger Hermes kids. Nico watched him, his heart pounding. _Did we really…?_

Connor looked up and met Nico's eyes. He held it for a few seconds. Nico looked away. He was blushing like an idiot. He felt like there was a flashing neon sign above their head with arrows pointing at them, saying, "Kissed Each Other Last Night."

Logically, there was no way anyone else could possibly know. However, Nico had also been at camp long enough to know that it didn't take much more than a bit of prolonged eye contact to get people talking. The right thing to do was be nonchalant. Pretend nothing had changed.

Nico took a deep breath, brushed his hair out of his eyes, and got up to give an offering to his father. While he was burning a pancake on the brazier, his gaze wandered back over to Connor. He still had a touch of bedhead at the back. He must have smoothed it down quickly as he ran out the door. Nico smiled to himself.

 _There's no way it's going to work. Someone's going to find out._ There had been couples who tried to keep things on the down-low before, but it wasn't long before someone stumbled in on them and told everyone else. The only way to keep a relationship secret was to never show any sign of affection. Really, if you didn't want people to find out, you just didn't have one, period.

Honestly, Nico was still struggling to accept that this was reality. He was eighty percent sure he'd wake up soon, and it was all in his head.

He was about to leave the dining pavilion when Annabeth cornered him. Maybe "cornered" was a little negative. It was more that she approached him, and you didn't walk away from Annabeth Chase when she had something to say to you. Nico forced himself to focus on her instead of Connor.

"Did someone bring you up to speed on the situation?" Annabeth said.

"Oh, yeah. Someone said something about Eris?" _Right. This isn't a good time to be obsessing over a boy._ Gods, their timing was bad. "Katie gave me one of those herb things."

"Good. They're a temporary fix, though. We're having another meeting today to talk permanent solutions. Come to the Big House after breakfast, okay?" Annabeth raised her eyebrows and added, in a lower voice, "I know yesterday was rough, but we need everyone on the same page."

Nico nodded. "I'll be there."

"Um, by the way…" She rubbed her arm. "I probably should've asked how you're feeling. That whole thing with Connor wasn't your fault, but still…"

"I'm normal," Nico lied. Connor was staring at him over Annabeth's shoulder. "I won't blow up like that again." He touched the herb bag. He wondered if it would do anything for crush-induced anxiety.

When Annabeth moved on, Nico headed for the Big House. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Connor quickly draining his cup and standing. Nico's pulse spiked. He had two options: go straight to the meeting or walk purposefully slow to let Connor catch up.

In the end it didn't really matter, because Connor's long legs more than made up for any distance Nico had put between them. He jogged up, still holding a piece of toast.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Nico echoed. How was this actually better and _worse_ than when he hadn't known Connor liked him back? He couldn't shake the feeling that the other campers were staring. Nico glanced over his shoulder. They weren't being watched.

"Did Katie give you one of the herb things?"

Nico nodded. He was being torn in half. He wanted to talk about last night, but there was no way they could do that in public. He chewed the inside of his cheek.

"So…" Connor looked off into the distance. "Do you think there's going to be a quest? Because of Eris?"

"I hope not. I don't want to go."

Connor stuffed the toast in his mouth. "They'll probably pick someone else," he said around it.

"Come on, don't talk with your mouth full."

Connor swallowed. "Sorry."

"Mr. D still might not care."

"He doesn't hate us that much."

"He didn't believe you before. Is he going to believe us now based on the same evidence?"

"Even if he doesn't, Chiron will."

Nico thought this was optimistic thinking, but he really hoped the situation would be taken care of soon. The thought of being under a goddess's influence made his skin itch. It had been the right decision to stay. He just couldn't relax at all today.

* * *

Connor was trying to pay attention, but it wasn't easy when Nico was sitting right next to him. He didn't dare do or say anything that might raise people's suspicions. Even bumping Nico's leg under the table might give them away. Meanwhile, Chiron was listening to their accounts.

"Can you be sure it _is_ Eris?" he asked.

"Well, no," Annabeth admitted, "but it seems the most like her."

Nico's hands seemed so close. They were just resting on the table, totally within reach.

"Well, if there's even a possibility that it _is_ Eris's influence, we'd be foolish not to act on the evidence we have," Chiron went on. "You already seem to be taking the necessary steps to guard yourselves. We have to take action, however, to get rid of it. What bothers me is how Eris would have made it within the camp in the first place?"

Mr. D sighed. "Look, if the rest of my family can get in, what makes you think it'd keep her out? She's not necessarily evil, you know."

"How is she not evil?" Katie said. She folded her arms. "She's the goddess of discord."

"People fight. It's human nature—it's _godly_ nature. I've been around you kids long enough to know that you're not always holding hands and singing kumbaya. Wherever there's discord, Eris can sneak in." Mr. D shrugged. "She's got a habit of showing up where she's not invited."

"Maybe if somebody was doing their damn job," Clarisse muttered.

"You want to be a dolphin? I'll make you a dolphin."

Chiron cut in. "That's enough. Mr. D, I understand your point, but this isn't the first time this problem has been brought up. You should have taken them seriously the first time."

Mr. D grumbled something unintelligible but otherwise didn't argue.

"Do you think she's actually, like, hiding out somewhere in camp?" Travis said. "Or did she just put a curse on us and bounce?"

"Where would she be hiding?" someone else said.

"Doesn't take much for her to blend in," Mr. D said. "You know we can turn invisible, right? If she doesn't want to be seen, she won't be. I don't feel her presence anywhere, but like I said, it's not as if no one here never has arguments."

"I think it'd be a bit more serious than an argument," Annabeth said flatly. "She definitely has an aura. Everyone says they felt it at some point, but they thought it was just them."

Connor glanced at Nico. He'd _absolutely_ felt it during their fight. Nico was pointedly not looking at him. He hoped no one else was thinking about yesterday. Feeling a bit brave, he nudged the side of Nico's sneaker with his own. To his surprise, Nico nudged back without even turning his head in Connor's direction.

"You can't fight her," Mr. D said. "The most you can do is chase her out, but good luck with that. Now, you could…"

"Could what?" Possibly Victoria prompted.

Mr. D looked at Chiron. "We could ask Eirene for a favor."

Chiron raised an eyebrow. "Do you happen to know where she is?"

"Nope. She's never on Olympus, except when she absolutely has to be. Explains why it's always a mess up there."

"You're talking about the goddess of peace, right?" someone asked. "Can we do that? Like, just ask another goddess to help fix things for us?"

"It's never that simple," Annabeth said grimly. "The gods don't do anything for free. Not even the 'nice' ones."

"Eirene takes pleasure in resolving conflict," Chiron said. "That might be enough to convince her. If not, we can easily pay tribute. We'll start by trying to get in touch through offerings and prayer. There must be someone around who knows something."

"And if Eris is here?" Clarisse said.

"I'll keep an eye out," Mr. D said. "If anyone tries to murder their fellow camper, you can bet there'll be consequences."

Connor bet those consequences would involve getting turned into animals or getting wrapped up in grape vines. He guessed that was better than dying, but not by much.

"We should consult the Oracle," Chiron said. "I'd be willing to approve a quest if there are volunteers."

 _I'm sitting this one out,_ Connor thought. He probably didn't have a choice. Technically he was still on probation for going to Europe without telling anyone. Nico glanced at him and Connor could tell he was thinking the same thing.

Katie's hand went up. "I'll go."

"Are you sure?" Travis said. Everyone looked at him, including Connor. He cleared his throat and said, "I mean, yeah. Sounds like a good idea. Eirene sounds, y'know, earthy."

"I know I've never been on a quest before," Katie went on, "but I feel like this one would be right for me. Miranda can take care of the cabin while I'm gone, and she knows how to make the herb bags."

Chiron seemed to consider it. "You've had practical experience," he said. "Do you think you could lead?"

Katie set her jaw. "I could."

"Is there anyone else willing to locate Eirene?"

No one spoke up. Connor half-expected Annabeth to volunteer, but when he actually thought about it, he realized it might not be a good idea. Athena was a goddess with several aspects, one of them being war. Eirene probably wouldn't be too friendly to her children. Clarisse might've been holding back for the same reasons.

"In that case, Katie Gardener will lead the quest," Chiron said. To Katie, he said, "You should consult the Oracle as soon as possible. We can't be sure how much time we have."

"Thank you." Katie bowed her head. She looked determined, but also a touch nervous.

Connor noticed the way Travis scooted closer to her. He would've made a mental note to tease him about it later, but then he remembered how he'd just gotten excited about Nico bumping his foot under the table. He had no room to talk.

After that, the meeting was adjourned. Katie left to see Rachel. Travis left without saying anything. Connor lingered for a few moments. He wanted to stay with Nico. As the other campers peeled off, Percy and Annabeth hung around as well. Of course.

"Feel any better?" Percy asked Nico.

Nico shrugged. "I'm alright. Not murderous if that's what you're asking."

"I hope Katie will be alright," Annabeth said. "It doesn't sound like a dangerous quest, but you never know what could happen."

"Yeah," Percy said. "What if Eirene's in another country? Can Katie afford plane tickets?"

"Great, then I'll have a probation buddy," Connor said.

"By the way, are you ever going to show me the pictures from Paris?" Annabeth said. "You said you took a bunch. You still have them, right?"

Connor hesitated. He was thinking about how many of them had Nico in them. "Uh, yeah. They're still on the camera. I'll show you later."

Nico shot Connor a warning look. No doubt his mind had gone to the same place as Connor's. However, he said, "Can I see, too? You were always stopping to take pictures, but I didn't get to see all of them."

"I guess we're all gonna look at vacation photos now," Percy said with a grin.

 _Well, can't turn back now,_ Connor thought. "Sure. It'll distract from the chaos." He pushed off from the table. "My camera's in my bunk. I'll just bring it back here."

Nico got up. "I'll go with you."

Connor didn't object. (He'd kind of been hoping.) Annabeth raised her eyebrows at him as they left. He was glad Percy was also going to be there when they went through his camera roll. She wouldn't say anything in front of him.

Once they were a decent distance from the Big House, Nico said, "You can't show them the one of me from the Eiffel Tower."

"Why not?" Connor asked, knowing full well why Nico didn't want him to.

Nico grimaced. "They're gonna notice."

"They won't. Look, Annabeth knows I like you. She won't be shocked or anything."

"What did you tell her?" Nico said, his eyes widening. He stopped and grabbed Connor's arm. "Did you tell her about the—?"

"She knows about the stuff with Eros. I didn't go into detail."

Nico swore under his breath. "Con."

"I trust her. She wouldn't tell anyone else that stuff, especially not Percy. And she doesn't know about… the other stuff." Warmth rushed to Connor's cheeks. He had to stop thinking about kissing Nico before he did it again.

"Still," Nico said, "don't show them. I don't… I'm not…"

He didn't have to finish his sentence. _I'm not ready._ To tell the truth, neither was Connor. He hadn't looked through the photos from France yet. It had been too raw at the time. Too fresh. But he could still remember how he'd felt when he'd told Nico to stand in front of the Paris skyline for a picture. No one else was allowed to see that.

"I get it," Connor said.

The cabin was mercifully empty when they arrived. Connor got the camera out from under his bunk. Nico wouldn't come in. He lingered in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. The charge on the camera was still good. He waited while the screen came to life.

"Before… before we go back, can I see?" Nico said.

Connor nodded. He shuffled through the pictures until he found the one of Nico on the Eiffel Tower. He'd forgotten how beautiful it was. Connor wasn't a professional, but this was probably the best he'd ever taken. Looking at it made him feel a physical ache in his chest. He almost missed it.

Nico peered over his arm. "Did you know you liked me when you took this?"

"No. But I liked you. I just hadn't figured it out yet." Connor tore his eyes from the viewscreen and looked at Nico.

Nico tilted his gaze up. He didn't have to say anything.

Connor was suddenly aware of the fact that they were alone and out of direct sight. His pulse thumped in his ears. He was going to kiss him again. He wasn't going to be able to stop himself.

Then Nico took a step back. "We should go."

Connor's heart sank, even as relief rushed through his body. He'd just been saved. Connor bit back any feelings of disappointment that welled up inside him. Now wasn't the time. He cleared his throat and nodded.

* * *

Nico was more jittery than usual when they returned with the camera. He almost kissed Connor back in the cabin, but his nerve had given out. It was just as well; anyone could've walked in on them. At the same time, he had wanted to do it. He had been so close.

 _Why can't I just get over myself?_ Nico raked his fingers through his hair. Things should've been different now. They didn't have to dance around it anymore. And yet…

Connor was sitting between Annabeth and Percy so he could go through the camera roll. "This one is from Montmartre. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Anyway, it's a pretty cool spot. Lots of pigeons."

"I'll admit it," Annabeth said. "I'm jealous."

"You should be. We had a great time. Between all the shitty stuff, that is," Connor said. "I actually got to see the Mona Lisa in person. You know, it never felt like a real, actual painting until I was five feet away from it."

Percy laughed. "This is a good one of Nico. They're like twins."

Nico groaned. He knew which picture they were talking about it. "I told you to delete that."

"Nah," Connor said with a grin. "We met the god of criticism in the Louvre. Did I tell you about that?"

"Connor, you didn't tell me _anything_ about Paris," Annabeth pointed out. She didn't even look in Nico's direction. "What was Momus like in person?"

"An asshole."

Nico laughed with them. Any thoughts of Eris and danger seemed distant in that moment. He wondered if he'd ever tell Annabeth and Percy about what had happened between him and Connor. Now wasn't the time, but maybe later. The thought of telling Percy was still kind of terrifying. Annabeth seemed like an easier start.

Connor was airy and funny and sharp and for some reason it reached deep into Nico and rattled his heart around inside his ribs. He didn't want to see what would happen when the moment passed, and they needed to be serious again. Nico let himself stare; he couldn't look away.

Eventually, Connor finished going through the pictures. He put the camera away. It was time to go to work. Nico held back a sigh as he stood up. Even Annabeth and Percy seemed weary.

"I wonder who Katie's going to take with her," Annabeth said.

Percy shrugged. "She usually plays nice with everybody. Except Connor and Travis. Though…"

Connor laughed. Nico was curious how long it might take for Connor to shove Katie and Travis into locked room together (or a body of water). He wasn't interested in their relationship, but he'd noticed Katie wasn't as harsh toward Travis these days. And Travis was definitely flirting with her. Nico knew that much.

Once Percy and Annabeth were gone, Nico looked at Connor again. He used to feel a prickle of shame whenever he looked too long, but now it seemed… allowed. Looking was fine. Sometimes it was enough. Connor turned his head and met his gaze. He smiled. It went straight through Nico's body like a gunshot.

 _I guess that's what the whole 'Cupid's arrow' thing is supposed to feel like. If he wasn't a dickhead._ They couldn't hang around each other all day, as tempting as it sounded. And they didn't have time to unpack everything they'd said and felt last night. But Nico wanted _something._

"Connor?"

"Yeah?"

Nico took Connor by the shoulder and pulled him down. Before he could chicken out, he pressed his lips to Connor's cheek. His skin was warm from the sun. He let go quickly.

"I'll see you later," Nico said in a rush.

Connor blinked. Then a slow, stunned smile spread across his face. "See you later," he said.

Nico spun around and tried to walk away naturally—even though he could feel himself speeding up—and as he did, he felt himself smiling, too.


End file.
